Yesterday I read another sad story about a 12 year old girl who committed suicide after being bullied on social media. My heart broke. Again. This is my bullying story:

Just after I turned seven, my mom remarried and we moved from our two-bedroom townhouse to an affluent suburb. I started 2nd grade with a classroom of children I had never met.

I remember one boy being a playground bully – picking girls up while forcing his friend to lift up their skirts. We ladies learned to wear clothing with legs and those two boys didn’t come back for 3rd grade. And, I recall someone making fun of me when I first came to school with glasses. The teacher overheard, made him apologize, and that was it.

I don’t remember ever being bullied after that.

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Though we didn’t have social media, there were still ample opportunities – and ammunition – for kids to pick on me, especially in my teen years. When my mom and step-dad divorced in 1985, we moved back to a two-bedroom townhouse. My friends lived in enormous homes and drove expensive cars, while I arrived at school in a ’77 Cutlass which would eject the tape cassette and launch it into the back seat if you went over 55mph.

Because of the divorce, I had to live with my older sister for my junior year of high school. I was extremely depressed and scared. In turn, I made a lot of horrendously bad decisions. Note to my daughter: THIS is why you get lectured so much. Because I was a stupid teenager. You’re welcome.

My senior year, I dated a man who was controlling, manipulative, and abusive. My friends didn’t call me dirty names, though. They gently tried to steer me in the right direction. No one made fun of me. They could have turned their backs on me, but no one did.

No one ever said anything about our tiny apartment with no air conditioning. No one ever called me poor because I had to go to work every afternoon after school. No one ever hurt my feelings or made me fell less-than.

I don’t know how to make these sad stories stop, but I know that not every school is full of bullies. My high school was full of the richest kids in town who didn’t want for anything. They weren’t snobs. They were awesome.

Maybe we should share more GOOD stories about the GOOD kids who are there to hold up people like me; a lost, frightened girl who had to grow up too fast. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have survived those years without that support. I would not have survived.

Let’s make the stories of strength and friendship go viral. Let’s make sure that the kids who do the right thing are celebrated and that the ones who don’t, aren’t. We can’t stop telling the tales of those who were bullied, but we can start sharing more stories about the ones who weren’t.

What do you say? Are you with me?

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What? You still aren’t using social media? I have news for you. It’s not 1995 anymore.

Maybe you aren’t having trouble adopting the inevitable; maybe it’s your friend, mother, sister or spouse who needs to be convinced. You know, the spouse who saw you get a job by posting on Twitter and who sees you wielding its power every day? Hypothetically.

But, Twitter and Facebook aren’t just for bloggers. I’m here to tell you that even the staunchest anti-socialites have reasons to be using these tools. If I could leave it at that I would, but I know you people. You want reasons. Have I ever told you that I like how you keep me on my toes? *dons ballet shoes* Let’s do this.

For Money

Are you in sales and could use extra business? Do you own your a store or restaurant? Do you sell things on ebay? Have garage sales? Need a job? All of these you can advertise FOR FREE on social media. When was the last time you filled out an employment application online? If it’s been awhile, let me just tell you that it is a tedious process. The days of mailing out your resume and cover letter are long gone and unless you know someone it’s hard to get your foot in the door anywhere.

How can social media help?

Let’s use Twitter as an example here and start with an easy way to jump into a conversation. Twitter search allows you to quickly find people with similar interests. Remember this is social media, so you will have to talk to people. The beauty of Twitter is that you can edit your thought before you send it, which is great for those of us who often stick a foot in our mouth.

Twitter Search. It doesn’t get any easier.

Search for your favorite sports team, your city, the company that holds your dream position; start conversations and continue them. You will find that just by being yourself you will naturally make connections with people who share your point of view and interests. However, I recommend an 80/20 ratio in using Twitter as a personal marketing tool. Make 80% of your content social conversation and 20% of it promotion. Trust me when I say that the next time Joe from Twitter needs the service you offer, he’ll come to you because you both hate the same hockey team. That comes from your love of the NHL, not from marketing your business.

Community

Does your school have fund raisers? Want to throw a block party? Do you need freeway-traffic info? Have you lost a dog? If you’ve ever had a classroom of parents hitting reply-all the Halloween party thread, you know what a pain it is to scroll through them to find the one that says you’re supposed to bring napkins.

How can social media help?

Facebook isn’t just a good place to share pictures of your kids with friends from high school, it’s also an excellent venue for small, private groups to make connections. I belong to a group for my kids’ school where we not only remind each other to send in Box Tops, but where I also picked up unused uniforms from another parent last week. Gap boys’ pants with the tag still on. Woot! My neighborhood has a block-watch page where we share descriptions of suspicious cars, lost pets and break-ins. There are local and regional groups for anything and everything under the sun. Or, you can create your very own!

Referrals

Could you use a new internet provider? Does your car need repairs? Have you thought of hiring someone to cut your grass, walk your dogs or clean your house? In this day and age I can’t imagine blindly calling someone out of the phone book when you can so easily ask for a testimonial. You don’t have to risk it!

How can social media help?

When I needed a mason for my crumbling chimney I turned to social media and not only found someone quickly, but I found someone who had done work for numerous Facebook friends. When I decided to color my own hair, I asked Twitter for recommendations on hair dye. It’s not just asking one friend for their opinion, it’s asking hundreds, if not thousands.

Support

Are you depressed? Have you had a child diagnosed with autism? Are you fighting a chronic illness? If you would feel better knowing you’re not alone, use social media to find people who understand what you’re going through.

How can social media help?

The wonderful thing about the internet is that the community is endless. When my son was diagnosed with a rare heart defect in utero, I couldn’t find anything about it on the internet. Nothing. That was in 2002. Now, a quick search turns up results even though incidence is only .1% of all congenital heart disease and I can find hospitals, cardiologists and other parents talking about it online. Something that once made me feel isolated now makes me feel like I have comrades in arms. *pumps fist in air*

Ideas and inspiration

Are you planning a wedding? Do you want to travel? Have you always wanted to attempt a DIY project? Are you still trying to find the perfect meatloaf recipe? Believe this, someone else has tried it and failed, then tried it again and again until they’ve perfected it. You don’t have to invent the wheel.

How can social media help?

Just ask. There are experts everywhere and if you can’t find an expert, there’s always Pinterest.

my pinterest “want” board. hint, hint!

Don’t tell my kids’ teachers, but Twitter has helped me with their homework more times than I can count. Especially if the counting involves two trains leaving stations twelve miles apart. Also, adverbial clauses. Need I say more?

So you see? Social media doesn’t have to be a foreign land to which you fear to venture; social media is the old front porch, back fence, or local coffee shop. It’s a, mostly, friendly place where you can learn new things, meet people and gain insight into fresh experiences. It’s where you can put your finger on the pulse of EVERYTHING.

And now, there’s no excuse not to.

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