Has it been a week since I last posted? Wow. Time flies when you’re freaking out.

Let’s review the last seven days, shall we?

* It was really, really hot. Like, go out and water the flowers at 7:30am and come back in looking like you ran through the sprinkler, but it’s-really-just-sweat-hot. I killed four plants last week. Two of mine and two of my neighbor’s. My daughter and I were even tag-teaming the neighbor’s flowers and we still killed them. Call us to watch your house!

* I drank a lot of STRAW-BER-ITAS. Have you had one? Full disclosure: They are a BlogHer ’13 sponsor, but that’s not why I’m telling you how good they are. They’re just really good. So, I drank a lot of them. The end.

yo’. I’ll see you again soon.

* I can’t remember the last time I did the dishes. It’s good to have a 14 year old.

* I went to the doctor for my numb hand and got, what I thought was a steroid shot, but it was in fact Ketamine (an anesthetic). I slept pretty well that night. NOW, I’m on steroids. And, my hand is still numb and I’m kind of raging, but my cheeks are rosy!

* Out of desperation for happy conference feet, I bought a pair of Birkenstocks from Zappos. I’m happy they have free returns.

* My in-laws visited. I love them. A friend of mine lost both of her in-laws in a car accident last week. I can’t imagine the depth of that loss.

* I normally drink apple cider vinegar every day, but lately I’ve just been eating sea-salt and vinegar potato chips instead. To recap, the diet is STRAW-BER-ITAS, potato chips, and steroids.

* My daughter is so competitive that in order to break a record on one of the rides at the church festival (in which you ride in a cage and build momentum to flip over the top) she came home on Friday with the biggest blisters I’ve ever seen. About 17 of them. On Saturday, I did what any good mom would do and taped up her hands ala Rocky so she could take another shot.

* I leave for Chicago in two days and I have roughly 8,000 tasks to complete. If you don’t see me for another week, you’ll know why. Don’t blame Bud Light. It’s only half their fault.

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I knew I had screwed something up the second it happened.

I placed my elbow onto my desk last week and felt a shooting pain from mid-arm to my fingertips. Actually, it was more like I had shocked myself; not so much painful as much as an electrical sensation akin to touching a live current. We live in an old house. That happens frequently.

By the next morning, my ring finger and pinkie were numb, but I worked through it for a few days. After near-complete keyboard rest on Saturday, it was even worse on Sunday.

The sensation is now up my arm, three fingers are numb and my palm feels like it’s waking up after a long rest. When I bend my left elbow I feel a jolt of nerve something that nearly brings me to my knees. It’s like hitting your funny bone times infinity. When I reached back to wash my hair this morning, I felt like there was a toaster in the shower with me.

Pretend you don’t see the stack of papers, the discarded mouse battery, discarded mouse, the book I still haven’t finished, the seed packets, or the dental floss from the piece of apple lodged in my son’s teeth last week. This is about my arm!

It hurts mostly when I bend it or place it on a hard surface, so I’m doing a lot of standing while I type. After a visit to Urgent Care, an anti-inflammatory prescription, some grocery store wrist and elbow braces, and neck pillow under my forearm, this is what I look like. I’m moving a lot like stiff-armed Frankenstein; spilling water, knocking over vases, basically monstrous. So I have that going for me.

This is Cubital Tunnel Syndrome and it’s not pretty. Especially not a week before the biggest event of my work year. But, then again, that’s how I roll.

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