I am a Buckeye born and bred. Even though I would move from this state in a heartbeat if I could get my husband to move west, I would still be, and will always be, a Buckeye. You can be proud of the state in which you were raised and still hate winter. Just sayin’.

Ideally, I would only move away for the cold months – and maybe some of the hot ones – but, spring isn’t bad and fall is just gorgeous around here. It would be hard to be away from September-November because the trees turn fiery, the wind is crisp, and Buckeye football rules all.

In Chicago recently, I was at a group dinner when I was introduced to a man sitting on my right. He asked where I was from and I said, “Columbus.”

He replied, “Columbus…Ohi0?

I nodded and he said, “O-H!”

And I answered, “I-O!”

Then everyone else at the table looked at us like we were crazy.

Don’t judge us! We spell it so we’re not confused with Iowa.

In a few weeks, when football season begins, I will don this shirt from The Home. T and wear it with pride. And, comfort. I boast my allegiance to all things Buckeye in softness. Buttery softness.

At the same time, I’ll be showing my loyalty to my country (every Home. T is made in the U.S.A.) and my family and friends (a portion of profits is donated to Multiple Sclerosis research). I’m covering my bases in one fell-swoop and one very soft t-shirt. Ohioans rock at multi-tasking; we can watch football, drink beer AND milk a cow at the same time.

Where do you consider home? Would you wear it proudly across your chest? See if your state’s shirt is available, here!

Disclosure: I was sent a free Home. T for review. I also disclose that I love this shirt!

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This is Tom.

I realize this photo is blurry, but Tom wouldn’t stay still.

This is also Tom…

…in white jeans, a wig, and faux-fur vest. I have no explanation for this.

Tom has been a friend of ours since our daughters were in kindergarten. He is a father of two, he is obsessed with his meat smoker, he’s Italian, and he’s a pain in my butt. Every time I see him he tells me he “wants to be on my blog.” So, here you go, Tom. You’ve officially made it!

But, this post isn’t just about him; it is a sweeping generalization of what it takes to be, what I consider, a good friend. Tom fits the bill, would you? If so, call me. Also, pick up a pizza on your way over.

1. There must be no pretense. The best thing a person can bring to a friendship is their authentic self. Period.

2. I like a good story-teller and the more humorous the story, the better. No pressure.

3. You should not be easily offended. For instance, if you display any of #1 by telling me about your new car, you should be able to take the teasing I will dish out because you have two kids and two dogs and you bought a two-door car. *cough* Tom. *cough*

4. Beer-drinking is a plus. Throwing parties with the request that each person bring a signature cocktail is a triple plus bonus!

5. You have to be willing to come pick me up on the side of a road in the middle of the night if my car breaks down. Because I would do the same for you. Or your kids, or your grandma. Tom probably wouldn’t do this, but his wife would, so he is awarded #5 by proxy.

6. If my kids are doing something wrong, I expect a good friend to pull them aside and tell them to knock it off…and why. It takes a village, people. It takes a village.

7. You should appreciate a good inside joke. For instance: Tom, the vest was awesome, but you should have worn the bike shorts.

8. Be willing to embarrass yourself for the friendship’s greater good. See above photo for proof.

9. Own pets. Most of my good friends are pet-owners. Only a couple of them have cats, so pretty much just dog-people. Pet owners have good souls and dog-people get bonus points, because duh. Dogs.

10. Understand that I’m a busy woman so writing one blog post about you is doable, but two would be pushing it. Though if there’s more of #4, we’ll talk.

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What happens when you take Queen Latifah, Sheryl Sandberg, Wendi McClendon-Covey (of Bridesmaids fame), Randi Zuckerberg, Gale Anne-Hurd (as in the writer/producer of Terminator, and producer of AMC’s The Walking Dead), many, many more talented and inspirational speakers, hundreds of brands, and thousands of bloggers?

Why, BlogHer ’13 of course.

Now imagine the logistics of all of that; the food (including vegan and gluten-free options), signage, transportation, set-up, registration, social media, programming, promotion, and every last detail down to a lactation lounge, a fashion show, a shipping station, and transcribed session content – and imagine all of it being managed by a staff of about 15 people. That, folks, is really where I’ve been.

Let’s put it this way, I picked up a copy of USA Today on Thursday and didn’t even get a chance to read this article until Sunday.

oh hi, those are my bosses in USA Today.

U – S – A – Today.

So it’s weird, you know? It’s weird to have the cell phone numbers of those three women, or be a fangirl of all these big name speakers and Food Network stars like Ree Drummond who is actually one of your greatest friends. Just so you know, it’s possible to be inspired by Ree AND pose for a picture with her in which you accidentally move Anissa’s wheelchair with your breast. Yes, that happened. (Thanks for the photo, Cecily.)

Cecily, Ree, Dresden, Katherine, Rachael, Anissa, and me. Awkward.

It’s weird to only see your co-workers a couple of times a year. Or have the opportunity to hang out with your co-worker/BBFF/Bedazzler-Extraordinaire, Melisa and be TOTALLY fine with walking around in the shirt she made you. She, literally, can not help herself. I love her.

totally fine, because it was awesome!

And, it’s odd that I speak on panels with unbelievably powerful women, with great stories and amazing hair.

Seriously, how did I get to here?

It’s strange to have one of Forbes’ Most Powerful Women in the World sitting just feet away when she gives you a great quote like this:

.@sherylsandberg "Next time u are going to call your daughter Bossy, take a deep breath/say she has executive leadership skills" #BlogHer13

— BlogHer Conferences (@BlogHerEvents) July 27, 2013

— BlogHer Conferences (@BlogHerEvents) July 27, 2013

It’s crazy to walk through the Expo Hall at the conference and get a manicure from Kiss USA, grab a drink from Dailey’s Cocktails (or Turning Leaf, or Moskato Life, or Yellow Tail), pet a puppy from ASPCA, check out a generator from Ryobi Tools, swoon over We Montage, and fall so deeply in love with the Shark Sonic Duo that you almost grabbed it and ran.

I got products I love (and will buy again) from some of them, and from Windex, White Cloud, Samsung, Folgers, ULTA Beauty, Walgreens, CLR, Jamba Juice, Orbit Gum, and Budweiser’s STRAW-BER-ITA. As a matter of fact, I want a STRAW-BER-ITA right-NOW-er-ita. I also learned about the good work of companies like Etymotic and Camp Wonder, supported generously by Cetaphil. Social good makes me warm and fuzzy.

I think the brands were better than ever this year and they GOT IT. They understood that blogs and social media are the new front porch/back fence/water-coolers of the world. Trust me, if I like something I’m sure as heck going to tell you so. And, who would’ve thought that 10 years ago? Uh, no one. See? More weirdness.

So, it’s surreal; this enormous gathering of (mostly) women from all over the world who affect change, share stories, and influence people online. It’s the only place I’ve ever been where it isn’t considered rude to pull out your phone in the middle of a conversation and send a tweet. Bloggers are nothing if not multi-taskers. We are often simultaneously posting to Twitter, Facebook, IM, and email. While we’re making dinner. And, picking up after our kids.

In all it’s weirdness, though, BlogHer is the one time of year where everything is familiar. It’s my people. We are writers, educators, brand ambassadors, and a hundred other labels, but above all we are bloggers.

And, I will own that weirdness all day long.

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Has it been a week since I last posted? Wow. Time flies when you’re freaking out.

Let’s review the last seven days, shall we?

* It was really, really hot. Like, go out and water the flowers at 7:30am and come back in looking like you ran through the sprinkler, but it’s-really-just-sweat-hot. I killed four plants last week. Two of mine and two of my neighbor’s. My daughter and I were even tag-teaming the neighbor’s flowers and we still killed them. Call us to watch your house!

* I drank a lot of STRAW-BER-ITAS. Have you had one? Full disclosure: They are a BlogHer ’13 sponsor, but that’s not why I’m telling you how good they are. They’re just really good. So, I drank a lot of them. The end.

yo’. I’ll see you again soon.

* I can’t remember the last time I did the dishes. It’s good to have a 14 year old.

* I went to the doctor for my numb hand and got, what I thought was a steroid shot, but it was in fact Ketamine (an anesthetic). I slept pretty well that night. NOW, I’m on steroids. And, my hand is still numb and I’m kind of raging, but my cheeks are rosy!

* Out of desperation for happy conference feet, I bought a pair of Birkenstocks from Zappos. I’m happy they have free returns.

* My in-laws visited. I love them. A friend of mine lost both of her in-laws in a car accident last week. I can’t imagine the depth of that loss.

* I normally drink apple cider vinegar every day, but lately I’ve just been eating sea-salt and vinegar potato chips instead. To recap, the diet is STRAW-BER-ITAS, potato chips, and steroids.

* My daughter is so competitive that in order to break a record on one of the rides at the church festival (in which you ride in a cage and build momentum to flip over the top) she came home on Friday with the biggest blisters I’ve ever seen. About 17 of them. On Saturday, I did what any good mom would do and taped up her hands ala Rocky so she could take another shot.

* I leave for Chicago in two days and I have roughly 8,000 tasks to complete. If you don’t see me for another week, you’ll know why. Don’t blame Bud Light. It’s only half their fault.

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