Someone sent around a link today and I could not stop laughing at this:

http://www.funnyjunk.com/

There are so many things wrong here, but I’m only going to focus on the air chomping. If you’re going to be chomping the air that hard, you should be really sure of your rollerblading prowess. The only thing worse than the aggressive air-chomping is the footwork. Or, the fact that it’s a dinosaur in a basketball uniform.

Now I have this imitation going on in my living room, over and over. Complete with sound effects.

I think I’m going to get him rollerblades for Christmas.

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It’s time for everyone’s favorite game! What’s on Momo’s Dining Room Table?

Let’s inventory, shall we? I’m not even going to count the empty stand for the electronic keyboard in the background. Because who doesn’t have an empty stand for an electronic keyboard in their dining room?

1. Folded sheets, towels, blankets and bathmats that have been there for two weeks

2. My daughter’s laundry that she needs to put away

3. Styrofoam cups

4. Granola bars

5. A desk calendar

6. Napkins

7. Paper plates

8. A Leap Frog game I’ve been meaning to take to Goodwill (Also for Goodwill, there is an air purifier under the window and two bags of clothing, a jewelry box, and a plastic horse on the back porch.)

9. A Halloween stamp

10. Two Halloween puzzles

11. A pair of scissors

Hopefully, we didn’t miss any appointments that were on that calendar, but it’s good to know that in an emergency eating situation, we’re all set.

Since it’s in the same room we shouldn’t overlook the buffet, which contains:

1. A pair of unhemmed pants

2. A hat that my sister brought back from Turkey

3. One pirate eye patch

4. A Jason mask

It’s a shame whomever wears that mask at the dinner table won’t be able to actually consume anything off our lovely dinnerware. Maybe if I look under the sheets, I’ll find some straws for him.

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You know how the universe has a way of setting you straight? I used to constantly comment about the awful parents at the library whose children ran around and – GASP – didn’t wait their turn, and weren’t whispering, and didn’t color code their crayons when they put them back in the box after craft time. I judged everyone, because my kid was perfect.

Then I was sent a child with special needs who would change the order of all the books and pet the librarian’s double-chin if given the chance. Though, he might do that color-coding crayons thing.

Yin. Yang.

Our yellow Lab was rotten. She was cute, but she ran away all the time, ate all things inedible, threw up a lot, and had the world’s nastiest gas. Our black Lab won’t leave the yard if we forget to close the gate, won’t even eat the bones we buy her, and a few weeks ago when I gave her peroxide to TRY to make her throw up, her iron stomach held the contents firmly in place.

That’s 50/50 dog luck, right there.

Earlier today my boss left me the nicest compliment on Twitter. Her opinion is nothing to scoff at, given she’s a multi-award winning, cross-platform media thought leader; which includes her place on the list of FORTUNE’s 2013 Most Powerful Women Entrepreneurs. If you introduce her to someone in person, you need an inhaler because you’ll be out of breath from the accolades. Needless to say, this made my day.

Don't you all think @MomoFali is an AWESOME representative for the BlogHer brand on Twitter? Just butting in to embarrass her 🙂 -Elisa

— BlogHer (@BlogHer) November 20, 2013

I wrote her back and thanked her, then I stood up, tripped over my own feet, and fell flat on the floor.

Thanks for keeping me centered, universe. Thanks a lot.

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Fair warning: I’ve already taken my Ambien so this may not end well. In fact, it will likely end with a string of bbbbbbbbbbb.

I went to the gym today for the sixth time in eight days. When one of the trainers asked if I was training for a race, I pointed to my head and said, “Yes, a mental one.” It’s taken me a long time to realize it, but I finally have the clarity to know my mind is messed up. Wait.

Physical activity – and I mean HARD Crossfit training, or a good run (but my good runs are really just extended bad runs) are the only things that help me manage stress well.

I realized last week that I could feel my mind and body slipping into a familiar state of anxiety. I am so in tune with the connection between my weakened brain and the quivering needs of my muscles….oh, who am I fooling. I had a particularly stressful afternoon and came home and went right for a baked potato. THAT was how I realized it. Once I find myself turning to carbs for emotional needs, I know it’s time to invest some extra time at the gym.

And, every other day – like today – it worked. Not only did I complete most of my work project that’s due tomorrow, I managed to go to the grocery store and make dinner, vacuum, and fold some laundry. I functioned. AFTER the workout.

Maybe it’s the encouragement I get, maybe it’s seeing my own strength improve a lot over the last few months, maybe I need to know that I can accomplish a set of chin-ups before moving onto a career challenge. Either way, this gym and these trainers are all helping me get to a place where my mind feels right and that’s not an easy task. The muscles I’m gaining are a total bonus.

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