Did you ever notice how many things no one tells you about parenting before you have kids? I’m not talking about how you’ll never sleep again. Plenty of people told me that. No, I mean the little things. For instance, no one ever told me…

That I would keep empty water bottles in my car for my son to pee in when we’re on the road.

That my longest fingernail would become the “booger-picker-outer”, and if that didn’t work, I’d retrieve boogers with a toothpick.

That I would wipe snot off my son’s face with a leaf.

That kids like to hide things around the house and you won’t find them for a long, long time. Things like cups full of milk, dirty underwear, and sandwiches.

That it’s necessary to cheat at Chutes and Ladders, or else the game goes on forever.

That poop becomes hard and crusty when removed from a diaper and smeared onto a coffee table.

That I would actually say things like, “You’re not allowed to stick your finger in the dog’s butt” or “You can’t drink water out of the toilet”.

Or, that I would have to call poison control, because my daughter would drink the toilet water anyway.

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At the grocery store the other day, I was approached by a man. Yes, you read that correctly. I was approached by a man. Me! An upper-30ish…uh…”big-boned” woman, who not only still gets zits on my face, but who currently also has two zits ON MY NECK…approached BY A MAN.

He walked over, smiled and said, “I really like your glasses.” Oh, did I forget to mention that? I wear glasses too.

Nevertheless, I thanked him. Then he responded, “No. I really like them.”

Again I said, “Thank you.”

Then he pulled his cart next to mine, leaned closer and whispered, “I was just distracting your daughter. I wanted to let you know that I heard you tell her to get some Shredded Wheat, but instead she put a box of Lucky Charms in your cart”.

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Last night, my husband and I had a rare night out with friends. We had a few beers, some pizza, good conversation, then went downtown for a play. There’s nothing quite like hanging out with good friends…friends with whom you can discuss politics and religion, have differing views, then end up laughing about old Seinfeld clips a few minutes later. Friends who have seen you at your best and worst. Friends who have helped you when you’ve most needed them. Friends you could call anytime, day or night, and they’d be there for whatever reason. Friends you can’t even be embarrassed in front of, no matter how hard they might try to embarrass you.

We had a nice evening without the kids around. No noses or butts to wipe, no food to make that someone won’t want to eat, no baths to give, no crying, no injuries, no toys to clean up, and no arguments between siblings. As we were laughing over dinner, I couldn’t help but think how good it felt to be there.

When we got home, we paid the babysitter, let the dog out, checked e-mail, cleaned up the kitchen, and watched the news. We did all the boring, ho-hum stuff we always do. After I put on my pj’s, I went into my daughter’s bedroom like I do every other night. I tucked her in, kissed her on the forehead, and then went to my son’s room. I took about twenty toys and books out of his bed and kissed his forehead…but last night, instead of tucking him in, I climbed under the blanket with him.

And, as I snuggled up next to him and watched him sleep, I couldn’t help but think how good it felt to be there.

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