This Doesn’t Bode Well For His Future Wife

posted by Momo Fali on February 12, 2008
This is Wilson.

Wilson is my son’s much-loved, torn and tattered “friend”. Their relationship began when my son and I used to wait at his sister’s soccer practices. I didn’t want him to feel left out watching all the other kids play, so I bought him his own ball. Within a short time, Wilson was going places with us, and my son started having conversations with him.

My boy would get out of bed in the morning, and before he would say a word to anyone else, he would greet his ball with a big hug and a jolly, “Ohhhh Wilson!” I’m not sure what this ball was saying to my kid, but apparently he’s quite a comedian. No person, place or thing could make my son laugh like Wilson.

But, not long ago, Wilson really started falling apart. His outer layer was peeling off and I was finding little bits of foam all over the house. I figured it was time to retire him to a top shelf somewhere. Someplace out of reach, but within view. The two of them would have to skip the long walks and holding hands, but they could continue their conversations, and still have some laughs.


I thought this would be traumatic for my son. Wilson had become his best friend and I just knew he wasn’t going to like the idea. So, to ease the pain, I went out and bought a new soccer ball.


Now, I don’t want to generalize and make comments about men or anything, but it was as if my five year old was going through a mid-life crisis. Because, when he saw the new, shiny, white ball…the younger, prettier model…he quickly handed me the beat up version and said, “This is the OLD Wilson. You can throw it in the trash..”

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Why My Best Friend Is Green With Envy

posted by Momo Fali on February 10, 2008
At speech therapy the other day, my son and his therapist made “juice” out of fresh spinach, celery, parsley, limes, green apples, and ginger.
It was very thick and chunky.

And, my son likes vegetables so much…that he drank it right up.

She’s Nine Going On Ninety

posted by Momo Fali on February 8, 2008

My nine year old daughter was talking to a friend about going to the doctor.

The friend said, “I hate going to the doctor! I get really nervous.”

My daughter replied, “I hate going to the doctor too! It gives me the shingles.”

Oprah Cliffs Notes

posted by Momo Fali on February 6, 2008

On yesterday’s Oprah, Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizin made an appearance to tell us we are doing things all wrong, and that our bodies are paying the price. If my body is paying a price, it’s forked out a good $1 million.

First, the doctors pulled some nice ladies out of the audience who had given information regarding their diet, exercise and lifestyle.

After that, Dr. Oz showed us how to do a pull-up. But really, who doesn’t know how to do a pull-up? I can do not even one like 20 of them.

Then Dr. Oz and Dr. Oprah gave very clear instructions on vitamin intake, because 99% of people don’t get enough of them. Follow closely…

* Take a calcium supplement, but not unless you take it along with magnesium. Calcium alone will constipate you…or as Oprah said, “It’s like having a child”.

* You also need DHA type Omega 3. But, if you can’t find that, you could substitute it with LRS type Alpha 2, or even BZN type Kappa Theta Delta Delta Delta.

* Take vitamin D in case you don’t get enough sun. This includes the entire state of Ohio, October through May.

* If you are over the age of 40, take two baby aspirin. I find these are particularly beneficial if taken with a margarita.

* Split your multi vitamins in half. Take one in the morning, one in the evening and one after watching Dr. Oz on Oprah.

* But there’s morepre-menopausal women need iron in their multi-vitamin, and no more than 5000 IU of vitamin A. IU stands for International Unit and is completely different than Domestic Unit. Confused? Just wait. Men and post-menopausal women, do not need the iron and shouldn’t get any more than 2500 IU of vitamin A.

They did not give instructions for post-menopausal MEN, because that’s a whole different Oprah show.