How to Control the Pet Population

posted by Momo Fali on August 26, 2009

While riding in the car last night my seven year old son said, “Mom, I can’t decide if I want to be a vet or a magician when I grow up.”

He paused briefly then said, “So I think I’m just going to become a magician and make pets disappear.”

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Random Realizations: Anniversary Edition

posted by Momo Fali on August 24, 2009

1. When you are celebrating your 12th anniversary, it is a good idea to take a road trip with your husband so the two of you can reconnect without the kids or the dogs around.

2. But, you may find that you are so tired because of insomnia which has plagued you for 11 of those 12 years, that you will sleep the entire way to your destination.

3. Which seriously prevents that reconnecting stuff.

4. When your husband stops near the hotel and asks where he can find a carry-out, you may be surprised to find yourself looking for a place called The Whore House. And, when you see it’s actually named The Pour House, and that your husband misheard, you’ll feel a lot better about spending your money there.


5. Staying in a nice hotel and taking a bubble bath in a jacuzzi tub with no kids around, will seem a like a little slice of heaven.

6. Seafood buffets in the Midwest can be really good and even though eating oysters on the half-shell in Indiana will seem insane, you will do it anyway.

7. Splurging on a seafood buffet the night before your anniversary means you will eat Burger King for lunch on your actual anniversary.

8. When you get home, even though it’s been a decade since you last saw it, your husband won’t want to watch your wedding video again.

9. Instead you’ll sit in your regular spot on the love seat and look over at him in his regular spot on the couch.

10. Then you’ll hope for many more years of seeing him right there.

Spay Day

posted by Momo Fali on August 21, 2009


I know what it looks like, but ambulance chasers need not apply. Daisy is wearing that collar because she didn’t get rear-ended.

Hoagies and Grinders

posted by Momo Fali on August 19, 2009

A long, long time ago I had a career. I left that life when my daughter was born and since that time I have tried my best to bring money in. I have run my own business, sold merchandise on e-bay, worked on a contract basis for a local company and was employed by my husband. Now I have this blog, which really helps pay the bills. The gumball bills.

Almost a year ago, I wrote a post about my new job as a second-grade teacher’s aide. I worked the 2008/2009 school year in a classroom where I checked papers, listened to reading homework and helped 30 kids make abacuses out of pipe cleaners and Froot Loops. Where is Toucan Sam when you really need him?

That job served a great purpose. My son, with all his issues, had me right there in the building with him. If the teacher needed me, if my son needed me, if he was following the principal around like a mime…I could easily help.

My boy made it through half-day kindergarten like a champ and I’m certain he is ready for first grade, but there is still this one problem. He sometimes chokes when he eats.

And that is why I am starting another new job today. In the cafeteria.

That’s right. I own it. But, check out these benefits! I get more hours, I might learn something about cooking, I get to talk to adults, I still have the same days off as my children which means I never have to worry about child-care, I get to wear jeans, I will don a baseball cap instead of a hairnet…and I might just get to save my kid’s life.

You can’t really ask for a better job than that.