At my daughter’s softball game a few days ago, my son was playing with a six year old girl. He loves this girl. If she’s not at a game to watch her big sister, he will continually ask me where she is.

As a matter of fact, when she arrived at the ballfield, he ran to her with arms wide open, yelling her name, and for a second, I thought he was going to tackle her. You never know with this kid. It’s not unreasonable to think he would pounce on her chest like a puppy and start licking her face.

They were playing behind our row of chairs and at one point I turned around to see my boy jumping furiously.

When we got home I asked, “Why were you jumping so much tonight?”

And, I decided I’m going to sit him down to have a talk with his Dad because his reply was, “Because Grace told me to.”

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Okay, okay. Sorry it took so long Christine. I was finally able to sneak away from my yard sale and get back here. I had to wrestle an 80 year old who stole a 25 cent, magnetic checkers game, so I’ve been kind of busy.

It was fun reading your burning questions. Like NukeDad’s, “Is kneecap licking a genetic trait, or can it be learned?” It’s genetic. When my husband proposed to me, he got down on his knee and then licked mine. The rest is history!

Along those lines, Chefmom wants to know, “What is it with boys and licking?” I don’t know, Chefmom. I just don’t know.

Xbox4NappyRash, Lisa, and Angie asked about the name of my blog. Congrats to Jill, who knew the answer.

A fellow blogger once said that when she met me, she was expecting a 300 pound Samoan woman…what, with my name being Momo Fali and all.

But, Momo Fali is actually Mom of Ali. Many years ago I created an on-line account with the user name “momofali”. My best friend, Bean, was confused and sent me an e-mail asking, “Who’s Momo Fali?” I’ve been Momo (or Mo) ever since, but to answer Angie’s question…no one calls me that it real life.

Geeks in Rome asked how it’s pronounced. Fali rhymes with alley.

Rachel wants to know, “What do you think is the one thing you’d do differently with your blog if you were starting over? Well Rachel, I wouldn’t name it a name that no one understands and that they can’t pronounce without having to think about it.

Hottdog, Gramma Ann, and Kiera, asked about the blog etiquette I mentioned. This is an awfully broad topic for this measly venue. First and foremost, don’t ASK someone to link to you. And for crying out loud, use your spellcheck.

Amy from Doobleh-Vay (now that’s a cool name) wondered, “…how you became such a high ranking blog star so quickly?” and Dapoppins asked, “…how the heck did you manage to generate so many comments?” Four words people. Deep pockets and bribery. And Amy, about that “high ranking blog star” stuff…you really shouldn’t read my Mom’s website. She’s a little biased.

Heather asked, “When are you going to get on writing that book?” and Katy wants to know, “What is the subject of your book?” You mean that book I started back in 20 B.C.? I’ll finish that as soon as time stands still. And Katy, I love, love, love humor. There’s just nothing better than a funny book. That’s why I’m writing a murder mystery.

Now for the miscellany…

Manager Mom – “Do you still have insomnia?” Yes, I do. Though I am writing this in my sleep…obviously.

O My Blog – “Why do people shop at Ikea?” Because you can’t be hip, unless you buy hip.

Jo Beaufoix – “What do you prefer, cockles or barnacles?” I’m going to have to go with cockles. It’s more fun to say.

Ms. Picket – “Did you see the small item in Newsweek (Cindy McCain on the cover) about how blogging can be therapeutic and that some shrinks are recommending it? And if so, or even if not, got thoughts on that?” I did not see the article, but blogging has been extremely therapeutic for me. Now, if I could just get my blog to write a Vicodin prescription…

Bean – “Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?” Because U.S. Americans don’t have maps. Duh.

Tara R. – “What is your biggest pet peeve?” The saying, “a-whole-nother”. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

HRH – “Can you convert debt into jewelry?” Sure! I can also pull a string of pearls out of your ear.

Holly – “Does my butt look big in this?” Holly! Have you seen yourself lately? You’re wasting away woman.

Transfattyacid – “If you were a man, what is the one thing you would like to do, that you feel you can’t do as a woman?” Dude. That’s simple. Pee standing up.

Mama Dawg – “Will you always try to keep your son from doing the highly entertaining feats that he performs on a daily basis or will you just one day throw your hands up in the air and just let him do what he does so well?” Look, he’s no Tiger Woods…so if I’m going to retire early, the boy has to bring the funny.

Soapy B – “Why did you go to OSU?” That’s The Ohio State University to you, Soapy. Where was I supposed to go? Michigan? Hack. Gag. Sorry, that word comes out with a hairball every time.

Goon Squad Sarah – “What is the most embarrassing concert you ever went to?” This is tough. I’ve been to some bad concerts. I’ll go with Tesla. Some things should have stayed in the 80’s.

And finally, Jill Provost – “May I lick your knee in honor of your blogoversary?” Yes, you may..but then you’ll have to marry me.

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Way back when, on June 26, 2007, I started this blog. I put fingertips to keyboard because I love to write and I wanted a creative outlet. I started a book a few years ago, but as I mentioned in my very first post, “…I thought my insomnia would give me plenty of time to write a book, but it turns out I’d rather sit and watch infomercials on HGTV at 3:00 AM”.

Before I began, I only read the likes of Dad Gone Mad, Dooce, and Bossy. I was unaware there are trillions of blogs. I didn’t know there was such a thing as “blog-etiquette”. I had no idea what I was doing. For crying out loud, I didn’t even know how to enable comments until three months into this gig.

Some people were kind enough to point me in the right direction. Thanks Eden and Danny, for helping out a schmuck in need…and for doing it with kindness. For the record, that will be the last time you hear me say something nice about you. I have a sarcastic image to uphold, you know?

And, thanks to the readers who come here to witness my incoherent ramblings. You make this fun. Even if you’re only coming to read that my son licked my cousin’s knee at my Aunt M’s funeral (he did).

Your visits and comments make me smile. Some of you leave remarks more inappropriate than my son at church, but most are downright hysterical.

Speaking of comments, in honor of this blogoversary I’d like to pull a Carol Burnett (minus the yodeling) and take your questions.

Boys and girls, is there anything you’d like to know? I’m a half-open book.

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