And, so help me, if my son says, “Mom, you look so…little“, just one more time, I’m making him lick the envelopes.
Forget your troubles; come read about mine
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EmailAlthough my son will be nine years old in the spring, he still needs our help when he’s taking a shower. After he has cleaned his body, one of us goes in to aide him in washing his hair. Because he is on his second set of ear tubes and doesn’t hear well, we do our best to keep dirty water and shampoo from entering his ear canals.
The other night, I walked into the bathroom and asked, “Are you ready for me to wash your hair?”
Which is when I realized that he’s eight years old going on adulthood, because when I pulled back the shower curtain I saw him standing with his hand outstretched in my direction as he said, “Hey, Mom! Pull my finger.”
While returning home from a family dinner the other night, my 11 year old daughter suddenly spoke up from the back seat.
She asked, “Hey Dad, what’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?”
My husband peered out at the night sky and thought aloud, “Hmmm…”.
Then my son offered his unsolicited opinion when he said, “I know! It was probably when he married mom.”
Recently, someone told me that she was glad that women have to wear bras.
When I questioned her logic, and sanity, she explained that she is so happy about wearing a bra because the best feeling in the world is taking it off every night.
That friend of mine? She’s one smart cookie.
Because my son has sensory issues and because he likes to snuggle and rub my flabby arms, even if I’m in my pajamas, I wait to take off my bra until he has gone to bed. The last thing I need is for him to accidentally run his hand a little too far up my sleeve. Then we’d need a whole new kind of therapist. Just sayin’.
The other night, as he was preparing to go to bed, I snuck into my bedroom and removed my bra. As luck would have it…wait…as my luck would have it, when I came in and sat down on the stool in his tiny bathroom, the back of his hand brushed against my B-O-O-B.
He looked up at me and asked, “What’s that?”
I honestly replied, “Well, that’s one of my private parts. That’s my boob.”
Then he reached his hand up and touched my chest and said, “Oh! I thought boobs were supposed to be up here.”
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