posted by Momo Fali on June 27, 2011
The other night I was in the shower when my son nearly busted the door down to get into the bathroom. Never mind that we have two other functioning toilets, because when mom is in the shower there is no better time to fill the humid air with the stench of your poo.
I won’t get into the gory details, other than to say the situation involved the earlier consumption of a great deal of mangoes and a kid with sensory processing disorder and a quick gag reflex. I had to get involved.
With the shower curtain wrapped carefully around my body, I tried to reach across the bathroom to help him before mangoes started coming out of his face as well. But, my towel was just a little too far away.
I said, “Hey, buddy. You’re going to have to turn your head the other way for a second so I can reach across the sink. Look over toward the door”
He obliged.
But, as I began to pull the shower curtain away from my body, his head slowly started to turn.
Startled, I yelled, “Hey! Turn around!”
And, equally startled, my son yelled back, “Oh my gosh, Mom! I almost saw your balls!”
posted by Momo Fali on June 8, 2011
For nearly four years, I have chronicled my son’s blatant honesty in this space. I never thought I would say what I am about to say.
He’s been lying a lot.
Of course, he doesn’t hide the truth when it comes to telling someone that their forehead is greasy, or that their hands are wrinkly or that his 53 year old therapist must be “younger than mommy because she is smaller”. That one was a double whammy.
No, he’s been lying about whether or not he got toothpaste on the counter, his socks were put down the laundry chute or if he put the skateboard away. These are things for which he wouldn’t be punished, yet he lies about them nonetheless.
These untruths are spoken despite the fact that we have a steadfast rule. You will not get punished if you tell the truth.
The other day I sat him down and said, “Enough! I have taken away your video games, the TV and your controllable car. I have sent you to bed early and denied you dessert. You need to understand that you have to tell the truth! It is important and this is final, buddy. WE DO NOT LIE IN THIS HOUSE!”
Then he looked up at me and asked, “So, can I go outside and lie?”
Make sure you stop by my review page where I’m giving away a $100 gift card to Best Buy courtesy of BlogHer and sponsored by Samsung and a $100 gift card to Dick’s Sporting Goods courtesy of BlogHer and sponsored by Gatorade. Leave a comment on the individual posts for a chance to win. It’s that simple! And, I’m not lying!
posted by Momo Fali on May 20, 2011
Some of the most embarrassing moments with my son have taken place at cash registers. As if it isn’t bad enough to fork over $75 at Target when all you wanted was a roll of paper towels, try having your son tell the cashier that she looks like “kind of a girl” or that her big lips make her resemble a fish.
This would be why, a couple of weeks ago, my 12 year old daughter was a quick-thinker and pulled her little brother out of the grocery store line. I had no idea what she was doing, until I stopped removing items from my cart, looked at the cashier and noticed he was wearing an eye patch. Clearly, that guy was going to get called “a pirate”.
But, when we approached the register at the grocery store yesterday I didn’t see anything that might cause him to make a comment. I was proactive and chose a cashier who was nice looking, clean and without blemishes.
And, of course, it backfired.
My son spied the young, blond-haired girl scanning our items and said, “Ohhhh, you’re pretty!”
She smiled as he gave her his shy look and smiled back.
Then his shy look disappeared and his expression became one of excitement as he looked over her shoulder, pointed to a different cashier and said, “Wait. Actually, that girl over there is the pretty one!”
posted by Momo Fali on May 17, 2011
My son celebrated his First Communion last weekend. A dear man, who happens to be my former co-worker as the maintenance man at my kids’ school and who also happens to be one of my son’s best friends, sent him a card of congratulations.
Yesterday morning this dear man stopped by the school and was sipping coffee with the school secretary when my son and I made a trip to the office because of an upset stomach (my son’s, not mine).
We were both excited to see our old friend and my son ran to him and gave him a big hug. Then he said, “Thank you for the card and the $20!”
Our friend said, “You’re welcome!”
Then my son said, “But, somebody else gave me $50!”
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