I just heard The Twelve Days of Christmas on the radio. I’m pretty sure that most people would want gift receipts on everything but the five gold rings. There isn’t any doubt that a bunch of people leaping, dancing, drumming, piping, and milking would drive me more crazy than I already am…and I can’t get much crazier.
And, who in their right mind wants 23 birds?
Don’t be upset by surprise visitors…
“You surprised to see us, Clark?”
“Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”
And, treat those visitors with holiday kindness…
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
Be thankful for all gifts…
“Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn’t have done that.”
“Oh dear, did I break wind?”
And know that a Christmas tree can never be too big…
“Dad, this tree won’t fit in our back yard.”
“It’s not going in the yard, Russ. It’s going in the living room.”
Find something that brings you comfort during this hectic time…
“Our holidays were always such a mess.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“How’d you get through it?”
“I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.”
But most of all, remember what it’s all about…
“It’s the Christmas star, and that’s all that matters tonight. Not bonuses, or gifts, or turkeys or trees. See kids, it means something different to everybody, and now I know what it means to me.”
At last night’s Hanna Montana/Miley Cyrus concert there was an opening act called The Jonas Brothers. They are a trio of modern-day, slightly-punkish-yet-Donny Osmondesque, teen boys, who were met with ear-piercing screams from 15,000 girls. That’s one thing that will never change. Whether it’s Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, The Beatles, or for crying out loud…even Leif Garrett…there will always be screaming girls.
But, one thing was very different. Because, as The Jonas Brothers gathered together to sing a slow song, they didn’t ask the audience to pull out our lighters and hold them up in the air. They asked us to pull out our cell phones.
Instead of flickering flames courtesy of Bic, the arena was filled with dim, blue light courtesy of Verizon.
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