Not only should we never drink and drive, but we shouldn’t drink and send e-mails either. The following arrived in my inbox, from my BFF, at 3:12 AM last Sunday. Did you realize you could slur while typing? Please note, she did NOT drive. It’s quite clear that her car was at Robing’s house. Enjoy…

Mo,

I’m very buszed and wanted to leave a comment ofn you blog but better if not. Ver y tire too. I got 5l5 hours of slep leat night –oh, that is 5.5 hours – and then whent out tonight with neighbors agfter the njewlery party Rboing had. I thought I’d be home at about 9; 30. Uh, yeah. Oh, and I have a xizsat (that says, “zit”) the soizes (truly, that is the second time I have typed the word, “sixe” …”SIXRE” … “xiwse” … “sixe” …. “SIZE”!!!!!!) um… oh~! A zit the size of Kandse! Kansesa@ Kanases! Kansesa! Kansas!!!! YEAS! It is a beacon for landing plandse/.. That said “olanes” … “Pleane@” I’mre uRES! “PLANES!” I am crancikint! Up right now!@!!

Can’t kept going. REmong me to tell you about a sujrprise 340th bday parythe. !@!

Welp, I wan’t drivnign … my car is at robings’.
bean

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MSN Health and Fitness has declared fungi-filled facial products to be the newest “age-erasers”. It turns out that mushrooms can decrease inflammation and improve the tone of your skin.

You should discontinue ‘shroom application if skin irritation occurs, or if you suddenly develop an affinity for tie-dyed t-shirts and Joan Baez music.

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…and Laila Ali (that would be Muhammad’s daughter).

American Gladiator challenges are named things like, “Gauntlet”, “Assault”, “Hit and Run”, and “The Eliminator”. Sometimes the competitors prevail, but most of the time…well, let’s just say they’re lucky to be wearing helmets.

Just imagine competing against people with names like Titan, Stealth, Militia, Fury and Mayhem. Here are a couple of their bios…

This is a lovely Swede named Hellga. She’s a delicate lady coming in a 6’1”, and weighing 205 lbs. In her spare time she likes to make meatballs from scratch and split wood with her bare hands.

This is Wolf. He thinks he’s, well…a wolf. Really.

Despite the tough talk, the producers try and throw the contestants off by dressing the men like women.

Thanks to the writer’s strike, and without new shows to air, NBC has declared American Gladiators a surprise hit. Apparently, the network executives didn’t consider that we just didn’t have anything else to watch.

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