What election? We’re talking about a real vote here.

From the day my husband and I were married, we were Charmin users. But, because Charmin is so soft and thick, it didn’t agree with the pipes in our old house. It bundled up against the tree roots running through our sewer line, and that didn’t make for a dry basement.

The last Roto-Rooter guy to pay us a visit, left coupons for a certain brand of toilet paper. Let’s call that brand Cotts. After my grocery store doubled those coupons, I got 32 rolls of Cotts at a bargain basement price of 44 cents a piece. Our impression of this paper? Well, let’s just say that bargain basement sometimes makes for raw bottoms. I’m sure it’s easy on the sewer, because it’s thinner than Kate Moss on a diet.

In all honesty, it would be more comfortable to roll up some newspaper, or a leaf…or sandpaper. It’s completely non-absorbent as well. I have visions of my nine year old telling me she’d rather drip dry.

My husband has taken to calling it “hotel paper”. Obviously, we stay at some fine establishments.

But, we are not wasters. No, no, no. We will use that paper until there isn’t a scrap of it left. In the meantime, we are also experimenting with three other kinds.

At this point, I’ll be happy to find a brand that doesn’t clog the toilets, and won’t leave splinters where the sun don’t shine.

These are pictures of a nearby house. I’m all for natural light, but they must go through monumental amounts of glass cleaner. Apparently, you just can’t have too many windows.