Big, huge, mucho thanks to Courtney at Judith Shakes Designs for taking my hodge-podge of ideas and making magic with them (“I like bold, yet feminine.  I want black and white, but color.  I want a one-column sidebar, but then split it in two.  I want ads on my main page, but not on my review page”).

I am the bi-polar of blog design.

The poor woman knew what she was in for because she worked with me on my page a couple of years ago.  And, she still came back. I love her.

And, I love this design!  Isn’t it lovely?  I am so happy to be here.  I hope you are too.

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Today is my third, and final, day of a three-day fruit and vegetable cleanse that I did per the instructions of my boot camp leader.  The only other woman I know who completed the cleanse went to a restaurant on the fourth day and ate crab bisque.  She pooped her pants before she even made it home.

Tonight, I’m going to dinner with some friends.  You know how you always start a diet and think, “I should start after New Year’s” then it’s, “I should start after the Super Bowl” then, “I should start after Valentine’s Day”?  Well, I got tired of putting it off.

But, considering the crab bisque story, I’m thinking I should have waited until after dinner with my friends tonight.  Or, maybe, when they asked me where I wanted to eat, I shouldn’t have suggested a Mexican restaurant.

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1.  If you have never heard of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), then you must not live in Ohio.  We invented it.

2.  Not really, but we could have.

3.  Vitamin D supplements don’t make up for the missing sunshine, no matter how much you take.

4.  And, don’t take too much or it will lead to a different disorder, entirely.

5.  Don’t let Mother Nature fool you when she orders up 65 degree temperatures in mid-February.

6.  Because it only lasts long enough for things to start thawing.

7.  And, for your dog to start rolling in poop and in dead animals that have been laying under a bed of snow for months.

8.  But, of course, it’s too cold to bathe your dog with a hose.

9.  Which is when you will seriously consider taking her to the car wash.

10.  There is no doubt, however, that you would let your dog roll in just about anything, and you would put up with the cold and the Vitamin D overload, if you could just see a blue sky again.

11.  Because, really Ohio?  This perpetual gray is getting pretty old.

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This?  Is me screwing up the hard work of Judith Shakes Designs.

Here’s how it went down…

11:30pm Sunday:  My BlogHer ad is getting cut off in this new template.  I know that Judith Shakes is working on my new, custom design so, for the time being, maybe I can just find a template with a wider right sidebar so my ad will fit.  It can’t be that hard.  WordPress is great!

12:00am Monday:  Wow, I’m really tired and this template with the tree is kind of like my Momo Fali’s tree, even though everything is gray and there is dark green writing and I really don’t like the font or where my pages show up.  Because, hello?!  My ad fits in the sidebar!  Maybe I’ll switch the template and find out how to put in my header and change the colors after the fact.

12:15am Monday:  *Takes Ambien*

12:35am Monday:  This template is AWESOME!  Just because my ad fits!  I’m sure there isn’t any other way for my ad to fit in this space without me COMPLETELY changing the template.  Right?  zzzzz.  Of course not!  zzzzz.  I’m doing it despite the fact that I keep dozing off!  zzzzz.

12:45am Monday:  zzzzz.  Why are these tags at the bottom of my header?  zzzzz.  Who wants to come to a humor blog and find a 9/11 tag right at the top of the page?   Oh here!  This zzzzz archive button zzzzz looks zzzzz like zzzzz the place to change zzzzz it.

1:10am Monday:  Okay, now I’m awake!  That was a good cat nap.  I should eat some Skittles.

1:25am Monday:  Whew.  I’m glad I didn’t change anything without copying it first!  *Copies archives* *Deletes* *Realizes that only one-third of the text got copied* *Don’t know if it was from the middle, beginning or end*  *Deletes everything* *Freaks out*  *Dozes off again*

7:15am Monday:  Ugh.  I’m still so tired and my mouth is all Skittley.  What the…oh no.  WHAT HAVE I DONE?????!!!!!!!

9:30am Monday:  *Slithers, via e-mail to Judith Shakes to apologize profusely for deleting every archive that she just moved over here.*  *Smacks self*  *Vows to never touch area of dashboard that says, “Themes” ever again*

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