My seven year old son was playing around at bedtime recently, when I heard my husband yell up to him, “Quit goofing off and go night-night!”

I stopped what I was doing and took note of the moment, because I was certain that my husband hadn’t said, “night-night” in years and that it would likely be the last time he uttered those words with one of our kids.

I suddenly wondered; when did we stop saying that? Words like night-night, binky and blankie are now but distant memories.

When did my son stop calling me, “Mama” and start calling me “Mommy”? When did my daughter stop calling me “Mommy” and start calling me “Mom”? And, when did she stop calling me “Mom” and start calling me “Hmmph” with an accompanying eye-roll?

These moments fly by, as much of life does, without us even taking notice. I, for one, am too busy cleaning the kitchen or picking up dirty socks to document anything but the big stuff.

I have photos of pre-school graduations and videos of talent shows. I have programs from Christmas plays and boxes full of artwork but, how are you supposed to note the last time your child referred to the dog as a “doggie”?

Hearing my husband call up to our son made me aware that those moments had passed us by. One minute my daughter was eating jars of food she called “num-num” and the next she’s bringing home division-of-decimals-by-whole-numbers homework.

And if there’s anything that makes you wish your kids were still saying things like “night-night”, it’s that.

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1. When you are celebrating your 12th anniversary, it is a good idea to take a road trip with your husband so the two of you can reconnect without the kids or the dogs around.

2. But, you may find that you are so tired because of insomnia which has plagued you for 11 of those 12 years, that you will sleep the entire way to your destination.

3. Which seriously prevents that reconnecting stuff.

4. When your husband stops near the hotel and asks where he can find a carry-out, you may be surprised to find yourself looking for a place called The Whore House. And, when you see it’s actually named The Pour House, and that your husband misheard, you’ll feel a lot better about spending your money there.

5. Staying in a nice hotel and taking a bubble bath in a jacuzzi tub with no kids around, will seem a like a little slice of heaven.

6. Seafood buffets in the Midwest can be really good and even though eating oysters on the half-shell in Indiana will seem insane, you will do it anyway.

7. Splurging on a seafood buffet the night before your anniversary means you will eat Burger King for lunch on your actual anniversary.

8. When you get home, even though it’s been a decade since you last saw it, your husband won’t want to watch your wedding video again.

9. Instead you’ll sit in your regular spot on the love seat and look over at him in his regular spot on the couch.

10. Then you’ll hope for many more years of seeing him right there.

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My family has always used Portuguese words when referring to things you wouldn’t want other people to hear you say in public. Mainly, this is done for private body parts and private body functions.

Though a Brazilian neighbor of my sister recently told us we were pronouncing almost everything incorrectly, and that the endearing phrase we use with our toddlers doesn’t sound as sweet when you find out that we are not saying, “Come here and let me pinch your behind.” Instead we are saying, “Come here and let me pinch your ass.”

My husband has accepted this odd vernacular, with the exception of a couple of “boy parts”. Instead of using (mangled) Portuguese, he has taught our seven year old son to say, “balls” as if the kid has morphed into a 45 year old Italian. It’s like having a miniature Marlon Brando standing in my living room. “Mom, the lining of my sailboat bathing suit is really hurting my BAWLZ.”

But last week, things changed a little. At the cabin where we were vacationing, there was a hot tub. My husband explained that it isn’t okay for boys to spend time lounging in a hot tub because the extreme temperature can hurt the “little babies” he has inside him.

When we said there were babies our son took us literally. Though he didn’t grasp the concept that there were millions of them, but instead assumed that each testicle was a child. He even named them. Racer and Jennifer. I spent an entire evening trying to get him to understand that Racer and Jennifer would not come out when he pees.

The next day, we were at the pool when my husband noticed our son had stopped swimming and was talking to a woman sitting on the edge. She kept looking over her shoulder at us and smiling. Eventually, I called to him, “Go back to swimming and let that nice lady relax.”

The woman turned and waved. Then she said, “It’s okay! He’s telling me about his babies.”

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I am currently with my husband and two kids in a place we lovingly refer to as the “boogie woods”. We are deep in the hills of southern Ohio, where there is (egads) no wi–fi. What withdrawal? I am typing this from our cabin rental office. What blog addiction? Thank goodness we’re heading home soon. I’m starting to itch.

Before our trip to the hills, we spent two days together at an amusement park. If the four of us haven’t been in the car, we’ve either been in a little hotel room or in a very small, A-frame cabin.

Yesterday, we all took a canoe trip. Four of us, four paddles, four life-jackets, two fishing nets and a cooler in one boat. It was togetherness at its finest.

After about a half hour on the river, we noticed storm clouds rolling in and thunder started rumbling. We luckily found a concrete bridge under which we took shelter while pounding rain came down around us.

While we waited for the storm to pass, the kids began to get restless. I tried to think quickly and said, “Why don’t we play a game? Let’s go through the alphabet and take turns coming up with words that have to do with our vacation.” My husband was at the back of the canoe, so I told him to go first.

He replied, “Okay. A is for arguing.”

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