Since we returned from our vacation I have been asked a lot of questions about Key West. As people begin to plan their spring break getaways, I thought I’d share my favorite things about this southernmost city and some tips to get you started to having a whole lot of fun if you go.

First and foremost, know someone on the inside. We were fortunate to have Toni as our personal concierge, and who happens to be a Key West celebrity. She was born there, practically raised in her father’s saloon (see #1 under Must Do Activities), and knows anything and everything about the town. She not only hand-picked family-friendly activities for us, she emailed me an itinerary that was spot-on. I kind of want her to organize my life.

Why you should visit:

1. You can’t get anywhere in the continental United States that is farther south, which means it’s WARM. My kids went swimming every day, we wore shorts, and I even got a tan. I’m quite the novelty in Ohio right now.

2. Rich history abounds and I’m not just talking about Hemingway. The island’s early inhabitants were a resourceful lot of shipwreckers who made money by salvaging. The Shipwreck Museum was one of my son’s favorite places to visit.

3. Culture, diversity, and Cuban food. Need I say more?

4. It’s walkable. We stayed on the “quiet” side of the island and walked to the other end (Old Town) almost every day. Along the route there were stores, restaurants, art galleries (tip: If you have children with you, keep them out of the t-shirt shops) and once we got to Old Town there were museums, the Key West Aquarium, and more activities than a family of four can tackle on a five day trip.

From arrow to arrow, it was 1.4 miles.

Must do activities:

1. Have a drink at Captain Tony’s Saloon – If you want a real Key West history lesson, step inside this colorful landmark and belly up with the locals. This is where Hemingway spent many evenings and Jimmy Buffet got his start (and is the bar he immortalized in “Last Mango in Paris.”

2. Parasailing – The first time I went parasailing in the Bahamas the boat pulled us up in the air from a platform that was docked about 300 yards off the beach. We had to LAND on the platform too. All I could think about the entire time (other than the lightning storm…not kidding) was about how I was going to have to stick the landing or end up in the Atlantic Ocean trapped under a parachute. The Key West experience was a MUCH better one. They sent us up from the boat and reeled us back in. It was a breeze. Plus, I got to go up in a tandem harness with my son. It was an unbelievable experience and I got to share it with my kid. Bonus.

My daughter and husband going UP.

3. Jet Skiing – SO MUCH FUN. The end.

4. Trolley Tour – You can take a trip all the way around the island, get a history lesson, check out the architecture, and you have an open-air ride in the saltwater breeze.

5. Drink a Goombay Smash at Hog’s Breath Saloon – This was Melisa’s idea and ohmygoodness does she make good suggestions. You’ll be happy you have a trolley ride home afterward, too. Yum.

6. The Sunset Celebration at Mallory Square – I don’t know how to describe this, but it’s a must-do. It’s kind of like a circus and you walk around from act to act to see the jugglers, acrobats, and sword swallowers then watch the sun go down. This was a fitting end to a day that started with a Goombay Smash before noon.

7. Visit the Southernmost Point in the Continental United States – Just to say you did.

Tips:

1. Don’t feed the roosters or the pigeons. Or the herons.

2. Go to the nearest drug store or supermarket to pick up snacks. There isn’t a lot of inexpensive food in Key West and having a bag of cashews will go a long way to tiding everyone over.

3. Wear sunscreen. Even if you think you don’t need any.

4. Carry hand sanitizer. The public restrooms we used at Mallory Square had no soap dispensers. *shudder*

5. Go off the beaten path. We attended mass at The Basilica of Saint Mary Star of the Sea which was beautiful, serene, welcoming, and not at all a tourist destination. We walked through the gardens and visited the grotto where people light candles and pray before hurricanes. Also, they gave us coffee and doughnuts. So, there’s that.

6. Know ahead of time that there aren’t a lot of beaches. Key West is a big rock and though you can find sandy spots, not every hotel has one. If it’s important to you, do your searching.

7. From what we’ve been told, you shouldn’t visit Key West with children around Halloween; unless your kids like huge crowds who mostly wear body paint.

8. Pack your flip-flops and have a blast!

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Although my family has been through their fair share of trials and tribulations, we are truly blessed for so many reasons, except for the medical bills part. Those really chap my hide.

Our tree, with a bubble wrap skirt.

In the true spirit of Christmas, I would like to hand out gifts today to some of the people who have had a hand in making my life a pretty darn good one. These aren’t real gifts in the sense that you can hold them in your hand, because those cost money. My son has a cardiac echo in a few weeks. You do the math.

Speaking of my son, I’ll start with him:

I give you the sped-up process of medical technology, so you won’t need open heart surgery and they can fix your valve with a catheter. I’m also throwing in an endless game of chess, a couple of friends, better hearing, and less anxiety. I’m sorry about that last one. You get it naturally.

To my friend whose husband walked out on her: I give you your 20 years back. You can keep your son, though. So, bonus!

To my father-in-law and my step-mother: You and your grandson and your whacky hearts! I give you all error-free tickers.

To my sisters: No pain anywhere in your bodies, peace, strength, and improved tech skills (it had to be said).

To my husband: Less stress. Okay, this gift is really for me. Think of it like the candy I put in your stocking that I eat the day after Christmas. It appears to be for you, but it’s really mine.

To my daughter: Many more good books to read, non-raging teen hormones (another one for me!) and I’m even going to throw in a pair of UGG boots. You’re welcome.

To my friend struggling with her faith: A homily that speaks to you, hymns that speak to you, and the warmth that I feel when I’m sitting in church. Well, that last part is because they keep the heat on BOILING, but you get the idea.

To my friend and co-worker, Denise: You get a month with your grandson, Johnny Mac Pippin.

To my friend Ree: I give you half the goodness that you have brought to my family. Only half, because the whole is JUST. TOO. MUCH.

To our new friend in Key West, Toni: I give you visitors with sweet memories of your father and guests who don’t blame you for cloudy days.

To my friend and co-worker, Melisa: Because you’re Jewish, I won’t give you a Christmas present. Instead, you get the birthday present that I never sent! Also, I’m probably going to throw in a extra spreadsheet to work on. I’m a giver like that.

To the wonderful readers who visit my little spot on the internet: I give you no tragedies, healthy families, an endless supply of Corona Light (oops, sorry…that’s for me), and a stellar 2013.

Merry Christmas!

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For the third time in three months, a woman I know has sliced her hand and/or fingers while working in the kitchen. I think this is a sign. You’re welcome, ladies.

First it was my sister with an avocado and a dull knife, then it was a friend with another avocado and another dull knife. She got her tendons involved and ended up with surgery and nice little hospital stay. She’s actually an over-achiever, so this wasn’t a big surprise. Hi, Karen!

Today, my friend Melisa was cutting an apple with a very sharp, very big knife, when she cut off the tip of her finger. After talking to her I decided to revisit this post about when my son did the very same thing. Ironically, Melisa left the first comment on that post, so the finger chopping has come full-circle. Mustafa is pleased.

Even though it was five years ago, my son still remembers his finger-splint, named Tapper, quite well. But I think Melisa may have him beat in the memorable-finger-splint department. Just a hunch.

Bird courtesy of Melisa at Suburban Scrawl

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Hey there, Melisa here.

I’m guest-posting for Momo because she is in the dark (literally) due to storms in her area, and the estimate for the restoration of electricity is currently July 7 or 8. (I wish I were joking.)

A little while ago, I was sitting in my living room when I heard my cell phone ringing downstairs. I didn’t run to get it, because I don’t know about you but Every Single Time I do that, it’s the blood center scheduling person wanting to know when I’m coming back in to donate (soon!), or some similarly annoying person.

I took my time going down to get the phone after it stopped ringing, and when I checked to see who it was, it was Momo. Figures. The girl NEVER CALLS ME. EVER. She’s so darn busy that I end up calling her and catching her just before she has a conference call or as she’s on her way out to a doctor’s appointment or…wait, should I be reading some signals here?

But I digress.

I called her back immediately because I knew she was without electricity, AND SHE DIDN’T ANSWER. (Don’t you hate that???)

I left her a message, and she still didn’t call back.
I called her again–and YES, I have friendly-stalker tendencies, thanks for asking–and she didn’t answer AGAIN. I admit I was a little worried.

I sent her a text:
Call me back! I’m here!

Nothing. So then, as I tend to do, I decided to become a thorn in her side. I sent a bunch of rapid-fire texts:

Hello? Did you butt-dial me?

Sigh.

Finally, after an eternity (or seven minutes), she called me back on my home phone. After she told me that I am the funniest person she has ever met (<-----slight exaggeration), she said, "Do you still have the log-in information for my blog, in case I die?" Yikes. I should have hung on to it the last time she gave it to me. I told her that I didn't, and did she need me to do something? "Yes! I need a post to go up! Would you want to write one for me? I can't post from my phone!" This was my moment. "SQUEEEEEEE!" I screamed. Wiping tears from my eyes (not really but I want to make Momo feel really good here), I said, "I'd be happy to!!" So there you have it, a guest post by me on why I'm guest posting. (Does this qualify as "Soooo meta"?) Fingers crossed that the power in Momo's neck of the woods is restored much sooner than they think. Just in case, I'm planning a great post for Tuesday about...aww, I'm not telling. You'll have to wait and see.

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