My 10 year old daughter was recently giving her little brother a hard time when I said, “You had better leave him alone. When he’s a teenager, he’ll be big enough to beat you up.”
She replied, “Nuh-uh! I’ll be shooting up then!”
I think she was trying to tell me she’ll be growing taller. I think.
Not too long ago my kids spent the night at my Mom’s house. They call her Vo–Vo, which is supposed to be Portuguese for “Grandma”, but who knows if we’re getting that right. We recently found out that instead of telling the kids they have a cute “behind” we’ve been telling them they have a nice “ass”.
When I picked up the kids after their night at Vo–Vo’s, she told me that my son had been well-behaved, which is in stark contradiction to this list.
This list was compiled by my daughter, detailing all the things her brother did wrong. Let’s review, shall we?
Stuck his tongue out at me 5 times
Tried to color me
Tried to murder me
Didn’t listen
Banged table
Kept trying scraping Vo–Vo’s car
What we can gather from this is that three of the items were him simply “trying” to do something wrong. Clearly, we need to work on his follow through.
I am a pig hater. Oh, I like bacon, ham and sausage and all…but, when I’m the sickest I have been in about seven years, and it’s because some pig went and mutated the flu virus, then I have every right to hate pigs.
I have H1N1, also known as swine flu. I did everything right. I got my seasonal flu shot the first week they were available and planned on getting the H1N1 vaccine. I wash my hands A LOT, I wipe off my shopping carts at the entrance to the grocery store, I use hand sanitizer as soon as I leave a place where I have touched anything and I never, ever use a drinking fountain.
I am taking Tamiflu and have been resting and drinking lots of water for the last two days, but I am still fighting a fever, aches and a cough. I have asthma, so that coughing thing scares me quite a bit. I’m pretty concerned about my kids too. My daughter went to bed with a headache (which was one of my early symptoms) and my son is high risk because of his heart. Your prayers are appreciated.
This blog is mostly light-hearted and I would like to keep it that way. I’m taking a break. I am really sick and if I wrote anything it would likely be a whole lot of complaining. Just ask my husband.
Please send good thoughts our way. This virus is so not good for my anxiety issues.
My son’s teacher pulled me aside this afternoon and said, “I’d like to tell you a story…in private.”
I’m not going to lie. I have been pulled aside by his teachers before.
There was the time in preschool when he pretended he was at a party and the playground mulch was his confetti. And, who can forget the time he followed the principal around like a mime? Not me.
So, today was nothing new. My son’s teacher sent him down the hall to put some things away, then she turned to me and said, “The other day, I looked down to see your boy’s hand in the front pocket of my pants.”
I put my hand on my forehead and began to shake my head from side to side.
She continued, “I told him that he couldn’t do that and I thought that was the end of it.”
My eyes opened wide in disbelief. “It wasn’t the end of it?”
“No, it wasn’t the end of it, because later that day I reached in my pocket for something and pulled out his dirty tissue.”
And then she started cracking up.
Thank you, God, for making my son use a tissue in the first place and thank you even more for a first grade teacher with a sense of humor.
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