This afternoon, my husband was out on a 16 mile run…which I could totally do if you took the “6” away and let me stop frequently for puffs of my inhaler.  My daughter was napping because of yesterday’s festivities, which included an indoor swim party, softball practice and having a friend sleep over.  And, I was working on a spreadsheet.

My son was bored.  Really bored.  He kept asking, “What can I DOOOO?” with increasing urgency and when he burst into tears and said, “I’m so LONELY!” I decided he was truly attention starved and got off of my computer.

I motioned for him to sit on my lap and said, “Come here, buddy.  I know you want to play with your sister, but she’s really tired.  I’ll play with you.”

As he climbed on my leg the sobbing continued.  He removed his glasses and wiped his face, then he looked at me through his tears and said, “But, you’re so old!”

Age may be nothing but a number, but this kid’s sure got mine.

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My kids have embarrassed me a lot.  I know it’s supposed to be the other way around and it’s possible that I have skipped in the supermarket and walked down the aisle at Home Depot with my hand in my husband’s back pocket just to get my tween daughter all worked up.

But, I have never turned their faces red in church.

A couple of weeks ago, my son not only applauded after the priest finished his homily, but my daughter also leaned over and whispered loudly, “Mom, your roots are really dark.”

But, even they can’t trump what my husband did in church when he went rummaging through my purse looking for mints and instead pulled out a package of Beano.

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My daughter was a perfect toddler.  I’m not trying to sound conceited, but I thought I was pretty great back then.  My daughter wasn’t so much an angel, as I was the ideal parent.

Then I got pregnant with my son.  Before he was born with his health issues and quirky behavior, my precious girl started saying things to me that she had never said before.  Things like, “No!  I don’t WANT to!”  Wait, what?  You were perfect!  You were so good that I went and got pregnant for another one.  I was duped!

When my son arrived, I realized the cold, hard truth.  I was just an average parent who got really lucky with the behavior of her first-born.  And, now that she is twelve, I’ve found that she’s pretty typical too.

She likes to sit in her room listening to music, she loves hanging out with her friends and she doesn’t talk to her little brother unless the conversation is an argument.  She also doesn’t always tell the truth. Dealing with this tween in our midst has become a bit of a handful.

The other night, my husband and I dropped the kids off at my mom’s house so we could attend a wake.  When we were leaving, my husband kissed our daughter on her forehead and said, “Be nice to your brother, okay?”

She replied, “I will, Dad.” 

Then he turned to our son and asked, “Buddy, you’ll be nice to your sister, right?”

Which is when we realized we have an entirely different kind of handful with this kid, when my son said, “Probably not.”

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Despite the uncertainty that comes with having a child with medical problems, there is always one thing that is constant with my eight year old son.  We never know what he’s going to say or do.

Most recently, this has come in the form of him telling his sister, “I love you!  Sometimes.”  And, let me just tell you how much a 12 year old likes hearing something negative from her brother.  Wait, scratch that.  Let me tell you how much a 12 year old likes hearing anything from her brother.  If I got paid for listening to squabbling, I’d be driving a Bentley.

On one hand, I feel like I always need to be on my toes, but on the other I find myself appreciating the boy’s honesty and lack of couth.  It has to be freeing.

The other night, we had two other couples and six kids at our house when my boy came in the living room to tell me that his leg hurt.  I pulled up his pant leg to his knee, but he complained that the pain was higher.  He didn’t appear to limping or bleeding, so I told him we would look at it when he went to bed.

But, he didn’t want to wait.

Before I knew it, he had turned to face all of our guests as he said, “Hey everybody, this is going to be funny.”  Which is when I saw him reach for his zipper.

One thing I didn’t think I would have to tell my second-grader is that it’s not okay to pull your pants down in public.

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