I have been really busy lately. Like, so busy that I don’t call my friends, or my dad, or even the dentist when I have a toothache so wicked that I want to knock out my molar with a sledgehammer.

That busy.

My mom has been a huge help to me. For the last few weeks, she has taken one, or both, of my kids to her house almost every day. She usually picks up my son in the morning while my tween daughter hides in her room, then she drops him back off in the early evening. Even though the BlogHer Conference is over, I am still catching up, so he went over there again yesterday.

When she dropped him off after dinner, she told me that they had just had an interesting conversation. Although my mom knows my son is famous for making inappropriate comments, she asked him, “Do you think I’m pretty?”

My filterless boy replied, “Half and half. You’re half not-pretty because you’re old.”

“What about the other half?”, my mom questioned.

And, he proved his ability to manipulate when he said, “The other half is pretty because I love you.”

I have never seen anyone give a simultaneous insult and compliment quite so well.

For the record, today is my mom’s 77th birthday, so feel free to tell her how awesome she is for putting up with me for all of these years. You can do that now, BECAUSE SHE JUST GOT INTERNET…which is really like MY birthday present, because I don’t have to print my blog posts anymore.

Please, don’t tell her she is half-awesome. You can leave that to my kid.

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Just about four years ago, I joined a social networking site called cre8buzz. It was a place where bloggers could connect, share pictures, videos, posts and ideas. It is where I met my very best bloggy friends.

One of those friends is Melisa. Not only did we connect online, but also in real life when she helped to coordinate and deliver my family a freezer-full of meat. She is all kinds of awesome.

A few months ago, Melisa’s second book was published. It’s called Chicken in the Car and the Car Won’t Go: Nearly 200 Ways to Enjoy Chicagoland with Tweens and Teens. Guess what I have? Mmm hmm…it’s all Tween Central up in here.

After I received a copy, a plan was born. My 12 year old daughter, Ali, and I would make a trip to Chicago and explore some of the places in Melisa’s book and Melisa would be our guide. It helps to know people.

Ali and I settled in with Melisa’s book, and her recommendations, and decided just where we wanted to go.

But then we hit a snag. Airfare is outrageous and we don’t own a reliable car, so the second part of our plan was figuring out a way to get there. Luckily, we were able to hitch a ride to Chicago with our good friends who were going the same weekend. It helps to know people, times two.

Upon entrance to the Windy City, it turned out that our friends didn’t have a reliable car either. Just on the other side of the Chicago Skyway Toll Bridge, the rear axle fell off. But, really, you can’t ask for more excitement at the beginning of your trip than standing on the side of the road, on the south side of Chicago at 10:00pm. We like to start our vacations with a bang! Or a thunk. Same difference.

This did not deter Melisa though. Ali and I, and our luggage, jumped the median and Melisa and her son picked us up on the other side of the road. We arrived at her house, exhausted, and she sent us straight up to her bedroom for a good night’s rest.

It was a good thing we rested.

We awoke early, took the train into Chicago and we were off. Kind of like a rocket.

Our first stop was that which will never be called the Willis Tower, also known as the Sears Tower. Melisa is an Ambassador for Skydeck, which is the name of the CLEAR boxes they have installed on the sides of the building on the observation level. You can, literally, step out of the building, into a box and see the city streets below your feet. It’s about ten shades of insanity. Also, I LOVED it.

My daughter loved it more.

After that, we enjoyed the Riverwalk and a walk along Michigan Avenue, before ending up at the John Hancock Building for lunch. If you want unequaled views of the lake and the city skyline, this is the place to go. The food was delicious too.

From there, we got off of our feet for a while and took a cab to Navy Pier where we enjoyed a beautiful architectural tour on a boat that traveled down the river. It was fun and informative and it was a gorgeous day to be on the water.

Following that, we walked the entire way around Navy Pier before I was forced to climb into a ferris wheel car. I was not pleased.

Now keep in mind, this was all. In. One. Day. And, we were not done.

Another cab ride took us to Millennium Park were we saw the amazing “Bean” and Crown Fountain, before hopping onto the train home and stopping at Portillo’s for Chicago dogs and Italian beef sandwiches. Whew!

I suffer from insomnia, but you can bet that I slept that night.

The next day, we visited the Museum of Science and Industry, before going to Ed Debevics for lunch.

If you’ve never been to Ed’s, you should go, but you need to leave your ego at the door; especially if your ego doesn’t like insults. The wait staff is notoriously rude, but even though they throw the menus on the table, “spit” in your water and call you dirtball, it’s a fun place to eat. It’s amazing how much a 12 year old enjoys watching her mother squirm because she might get scolded by the waiter.

We were told to wear these hats. We obliged.

After a short rest, we took a leisurely stroll around Melisa’s town before enjoying a dinner with fellow bloggers and the world’s best dessert; raw cookie dough (without eggs so it’s safe to eat). I ate the whole bowl. Of cookie dough. Don’t judge me.

Quit looking at my butt, lady!

I haven’t even mentioned the Vietnam Memorial, the Stained Glass Museum, the Tiffany ceiling in that which shall never be called Macy’s (also known as Marshall Fields), Buckingham Fountain, the 9/11 Memorial, the Naperville Bell Tower, deep dish pizza, photo ops in front of the Art Institute, the double-decker trains at Union Station…and MORE.

Melisa’s family was kind, generous and funny, the weather was beautiful and everywhere we went we encountered nothing but the nicest people you could ever meet. My daughter, who lately has been known as “The Surly One” actually smiled and LAUGHED. A lot.

Chicago is a fun, exciting and beautiful city and if you are a tween, teen OR adult, Melisa’s book is an invaluable resource for finding things to do and knowing exactly what to expect. The woman loves her town.

And, you know what? So do we.

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Have you ever had something that you love to hate? Or, better yet, that you love to hate to love?

Yeah, well for me that’s Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

You can not deny that there are a lot of things to hate about that movie. Go ahead and try to tell yourself that you enjoy the eternity that it takes Charlie to find the golden ticket, or the four grandparents playing Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (if you’re younger than 40, your punishment is to Google that). Or, worst of all, Gene Wilder’s manic singing during the boat ride to Psychedelia.

Yes, I just made Psychedelia a place. It’s probably a lot like Detroit.

But, have you ever really watched Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Have you grasped the lessons of generosity, honesty and kindness that it blatantly teaches us? Don’t be greedy, don’t be rude, don’t be a glutton and stay away from creepy men who whisper sweet nothings in your ear. You could get through your entire life armed with that information alone.

Despite the fact that I knew I would be singing, “I’ve got a golden ticket…” for a good week, we sat down with the kids the other day to watch this movie.

Throughout, we openly discussed the mistakes and bad behavior of the children. We talked about the importance of following your heart, listening to your gut and which 70’s fashion to stay far, far away from.

When it was over, my husband turned to our son and asked, “What did you learn from that movie?”

My boy looked up at his dad, thought for a second then said, “Ummm…well, I guess that I learned the Oompa Loompa song.’

At least we have that going for us.

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The other night I was in the shower when my son nearly busted the door down to get into the bathroom. Never mind that we have two other functioning toilets, because when mom is in the shower there is no better time to fill the humid air with the stench of your poo.

I won’t get into the gory details, other than to say the situation involved the earlier consumption of a great deal of mangoes and a kid with sensory processing disorder and a quick gag reflex. I had to get involved.

With the shower curtain wrapped carefully around my body, I tried to reach across the bathroom to help him before mangoes started coming out of his face as well. But, my towel was just a little too far away.

I said, “Hey, buddy. You’re going to have to turn your head the other way for a second so I can reach across the sink. Look over toward the door”

He obliged.

But, as I began to pull the shower curtain away from my body, his head slowly started to turn.

Startled, I yelled, “Hey! Turn around!”

And, equally startled, my son yelled back, “Oh my gosh, Mom! I almost saw your balls!”

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