Remember the good old days, in November, when I posted every day? Well, except for that six day period around Thanksgiving and the other couple of times I missed, but other than that – every day.

Things are eight shades of crazy around here. We have something big planned. BIG, I tell ya’! And, we’re excited. That’s all I can tell you right now, mostly because I’m paranoid that something will go wrong if I do. Actually, now I’m paranoid that something will go wrong because I said I’m paranoid that something will go wrong. *head pops off*

Oh, and there’s this:

I’m honored to be on this list with some of the best mom-bloggers in the world. Can I get a “woot!” I need to make a list of the best mom-bloggers who aren’t on that list, because we need more lists! I am not paranoid about lists, so that’s good. I should find something about lists to worry about.

I was shocked to find out the lyrics to The Kinks’ song, “Destroyer” don’t say, “Paranoia, will destroy ya,'” they say, “Paranoia, the destroyer.” I’ve been using that line for 30 years. I’ll have to add that to the list of lyrics I’ve gotten wrong. Yay! Another list.

Speaking of lists, how’s your Christmas shopping going? I’ve barely even started. I’m going to make a list for that today too. Right after I pull all of my hair out.

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My son will be 11 in May. He is the oldest kid in his class and he still believes in Santa Claus.

Half of the reason for that is because he had a pretty lousy start to life, so giving him a little extra magic is the least we can do. The other half is because he is brutally honest and we don’t want him to ruin it for the kids in his class who are many months behind him in age. Trust me, if he knows, he’ll make sure everyone else knows too.

Because he’s been lying so much, I felt the need to play the Santa card. I mean, if your child still thinks a jolly elf slides down the chimney and eats a bunch of cookies then you might as well use it for your benefit. Another advantage is that you get to eat a plate of cookies and pretend you didn’t.

So the other day I said, “This lying has to stop. It’s ridiculous. Plus, Santa is coming soon and I know you want to be on the nice list.”

Then I realized that he’s probably just going to go ahead and eat the cookies himself on Christmas Eve, because he replied, “But, I was naughty last year and I still got presents!”

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Well, you have to admit – when I fail, I fail big.

I forgot about blogging somewhere between preparing for Thanksgiving dinner (which included my brining a turkey and making homemade pumpkin pie…take THAT, Martha!), four days of single-parenthood while my husband was visiting with my brother-in-law, putting up the Christmas decorations, the Ohio-State Michigan game and four nights worth of overnight guests (and I know they’re reading this, so I feel I should say that I LOVE having them here…really…*waves* *blows kisses*…I enjoy their company and it forces me to clean, so bonus) (except I didn’t get to enjoy their company because all I did was clean, so bonus negated).

There’s always next year, right?

Plus, I kind of have an addictive personality and I have been desperately trying to focus my addiction on exercise and nutrition. *gnaws kale* With the exception of a LOT of beer over the past few days, I didn’t go overboard. If you count the beer, then I went overboard and nearly drowned. The good thing is that I had enough empties to build a raft. I blame football.

Although I let my blogging slide, I still made it to the gym twice over the weekend. Excuse me while I puff up my chest. Now, excuse me while I stop puffing up my chest because it hurts my pecs too much.

And, it’s nice to have the Christmas decorating finished. We put everything up the day after Thanksgiving and it all comes down the day after Christmas. My daughter’s birthday is at the end of December, and because she gets completely cheated out of birthday presents each year, it’s the least we can do to make sure there isn’t a lit tree trying to steal her birthday cake’s thunder.

So yeah, I failed at NaBloPoMo, but I win at decorating, sore muscles and beer drinking.

Which, clearly, makes me a winner.

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Here I am! With a few hours left in the first day of November, I’m getting in a post by the skin of my teeth. Speaking of that, how many of you feel like you have socks on your teeth from all the sugar you’ve eaten today?

Halloween was kind of a bust around here, what with the rain and the FREEZING, but somehow my kids managed to get plenty of junk. The adults managed to drink plenty of beer too, because we roll redneck in Ohio. It makes the cold bearable. Almost.

I won’t lie. I didn’t craft together my son’s costume until about an hour before trick-or-treat, because of the wicked witch that blew through earlier this week, I just wasn’t into it this year. Hurricane Sandy kind of ruined the spirit of Halloween. Get it? Spirit. People, this is as good as it’s going to get if I’m posting every day.

Now that my kids have dressed up for Halloween a combined total of 25 times I am apparently tired of taking pictures of them in their costumes. I got one photo of my daughter with a glaring flash, none of my two kids together and two pictures of my son which, if pieced together, make his full costume. Take this duct tape covered parka…

…and combine it with this mustache (instead of the one above that I crookedly drew on with waterproof mascara)…

…and you have the total look.

I win at mothering, no? Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to them at Thanksgiving. I’ll give them all the dark meat and I won’t let their dad deep-fry the turkey again. You’re welcome, kids. You’re welcome.

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