I think there are certain ways that people are always themselves, but I do think people change. -Mike White

I’m sure you’ve heard that you should never try to change someone, but what if that person used to be loving and kind and has changed into a destructive jerk? Shouldn’t you try to change them back to who they once were?

Yes, you should, and here’s why.

I am that person. Most of you don’t know it, but I lost control of my priorities and became a distant, grumpy, tired, shell of a person. Not all the time, unless you were fortunate enough to be one of the people who really love me; then you had meanest Momo every day.

My husband tried to tell me, but I thought it was impossible to shift my priorities from where they were; work, kids (which encompasses driving, sports, cooking, homework, doctors and more), house, laundry, blog, husband. Lucky guy, that one.

But, a couple of months ago I had a breakthrough, or what a therapist told me was “an awakening.”

Even though I thought there was NO WAY I could give any more of myself, in any capacity, I intentionally shifted my priorities. INTENTION being the key component of what I’m about to tell you, so make sure you see that word and soak it in.

I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.

I intentionally made changes.

Work was still my #1 priority, but only during working hours and occasional overtime, like yesterday. During non-working hours, my husband went into the #1 slot, then kids, house, laundry and blog.

Sometimes laundry fell into the last slot, which is why we ran out of underwear, but I never waivered from keeping everything else in its rightful place. And, you know what? It wasn’t even that hard.

As a matter of fact, I started enjoying the heck out of my husband again and that carried over into how I interact with my children. I became nicer. Calmer. More peaceful.

Okay, that last one is a total lie. I’ve been grinding my teeth like crazy and I’ve HAD to start running again out of mental necessity, but I’m not taking out my frustrations on the people I care about more than anything.

I feel like my old self again. I uncovered the person who was buried under a pile of resentment, anger, jealousy and ego.

And, that change feels really good.

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Do you ever think about the things that make you truly happy? If you don’t, you should. When you’re searching for peace, you think of them a lot. Trust me, I know.

I’ll give Maria raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but she loses me at bright copper kettles. I mean, you’d REALLY have to love tea. I like tea, but I don’t care how the water gets boiled. Plus, I think you have to polish copper and I hate chores.

So, what does make me happy – or, rather, peaceful? In no particular order:

1. Sunshine.

2. My husband touching my face or hair. The touch of a cheek or gently holding the nape of a neck is intimate and lovely.

3. A clear, starry sky. For making wishes.

4. Intense, exhausting workouts. I don’t look happy while I’m doing them and I complain A LOT, but pulling a rope with a 400 lb. tire attached to the other end makes me feel strong, powerful and confident even though my face is purple and I’m dripping with sweat.

5. Watching my kids try anything. A new food, a new experience, a new activity; seeing them attempt something makes them achievers in my eyes, even if they fail.

6. Cold beer. Duh.

7. The beach. Sand between my toes, the sound of the waves, and saltwater making my hair look pretty without any effort – I’ll take that ALL DAY LONG. Combined with #1, #5 and #6? Heaven.

8. A clean house. I never get this one. Never.

9. A good movie. Throw in Milk Duds and it’s even better.

10. Puppies, good friends, flowers, board games, slow-dancing, campfires, music, and snuggling. Not all at once, but I didn’t want this list to get too long.

While things have seemed kind of bleak lately, I’m finding it helpful to come back to this list to seek out, and give myself, the things I can. Thankfully, that hasn’t resulted in too many Milk Duds, but don’t even come near me without expecting a snuggle.

What would your list look like? What are your favorite things?

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She’s once. Twice. Three times a failure. But, you la-uh-uhhhhhve her. Right?

What can I say? I simply forgot to post yesterday. But, look how much my poetry has improved in 48 hours! Note: Whoever said that something becomes a habit once you’ve done it for a few weeks is a big, fat liar.

Between two early weekend mornings in a row, helping a friend move, a funeral and a Benadryl, I still don’t really have the energy to write even though I have a lot to say. I think that’s the point of posting every day for a month anyway, to prove to yourself that you CAN find something to write. And, I could have. So I’m still winning. Except not at the Wii Fit soccer game where they pelt you with cleats and panda heads. I always lose at that.

As I was sitting quietly, waiting for the funeral to start today, I thought I’d better go ahead and write my own eulogy. I’m kind of a control-freak and what if something important is left out of my remembrance; like my deep love for my family or that my favorite Looney Tune character is Foghorn Leghorn?

But, then the son of the deceased stepped up and read what he had written. It was simple, funny and heartbreakingly beautiful. Until there is a work project, a letter to the editor, or a eulogy to write, very few people will jot down the things they have to say. I think we all have the ability to write every day and touch people on some level; we just don’t know we have it in us.

Can YOU find something to write?

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Here’s what I could tell you; that it’s sometimes exhausting to raise a special needs child. It’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and if you mess with my son, I will go all Mama Bear Advocate on you until you stop. I will also say bad things about you on Facebook.

I could tell you that my cousin is very sick. That she was pretty much fine and then was suddenly diagnosed with THREE DIFFERENT types of cancer and is in critical care. Get your papsmears, ladies. Make a note and schedule it as soon as you possibly can.

I could mention that I can never, ever get the laundry done all in one day like my husband can and that he constantly rubs it in my face. Or, I could talk about how I don’t understand why The Voice is on EVERY night.

Maybe I’ll mention how hard it is to be vegan with Twix bars in the house, that I could buy a new pair of shoes just about every day or that I wish I were a piano virtuoso.

I could say that I think guilt is an incomparable emotional experience and if you don’t have any, then you’re not someone I want as a friend. If you don’t feel guilty about something, then you don’t care enough. Or, I could say that my dog is the best snuggler in the world. For real.

Or I could just show you a picture of my 78 year old mother beating my daughter at arm wrestling.

I’m 41 years old and my mom still scares me.

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