I didn’t want to do it.

I had New Year’s week off and I promised my kids I wouldn’t turn on my computer. We were going to do fun stuff, I was going to go to the gym every day, we were going to sleep in, catch up on everything that has fallen behind, and start 2014 off with a clean slate. I was going to roll it in with positivity and light.

Pffft.

Instead, on my daughter’s 15th birthday, December 29th, I started to feel not great. I was already not great, but this was especially not great. If you’re keeping track, my vacation started on December 30th.

I won’t go into how I spent four days freezing cold despite layer upon layer of clothes and blankets and constant ingestion of herbal tea. I won’t tell you how I could barely move from room to room without having to sit down and catch my breath, how I still cough so hard I vomit, or that I’m in a whole lot of pain from a combination of bronchitis and pleurisy (with a sinus infection thrown in for good measure). Wait, I guess I just told you.

We’re now six days into this year – so 2014, that’s how we gonna do?

Oh, wait. You had to throw in a polar vortex. It’s like Day After Tomorrow in my front yard and I’ve spent less than TWO hours outside of my house in the last SEVEN days. You’re going to make sure I make it eight, eh? If you were a Sooner and I was wearing boots, I’d dive-bomb you and start kicking. You and I are going to roll. Just not yet because I can’t breathe, but when I can …

What I want is some positivity and light. I want a fresh start and not this hacking cough, no sleep, and kids who can’t even sit on the couch next to their sick mother. I want changes that I can’t make when I’m lying in bed.

I want my 2014 back. One way or another I will get it, and this revenge is going to be so, so sweet.

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How did my National Blog Posting Month challenge end up? Well, I wouldn’t dare commit to another month of posting every day – at least not until November, 2014. I missed two days this year, and one time I posted fifteen minutes late, but this was still a personal record for me; the longest NaBloPoMo run I’ve ever had.

It seems inconceivable that I would skip the last day and again yesterday, but twice in the past couple of months I’ve had pieces of paper shoved in my general direction with pretty pie charts which discuss life balance. I have taken that as a hint that I need to pay closer attention to how my time is divided.

My husband gets almost the same amount of time as prayer, so he has that going for him.

Granted, some of these sections overlap. My kids really cover the whole pie, because my life revolves around their existence. Period. Also, I would say that my immensely satisfying work is part social, part self-care and part financial, and because my husband and I work out together my time with him trickles into the section of exercise. Sweat is totally romantic.

But, this weekend when the opportunity arose for me to spend time with family instead of working or otherwise sitting in front of a computer screen – I took the chance and ran with it. Sure, there were projects to work on, laundry to do, and my kids would probably appreciate it if I’d go buy some milk and cereal, but those things can wait. At least until we run out of underwear and bagels.

So, yeah, I didn’t post on the last day of November and I skipped right over the first day of December, but that’s okay. I’m trying to even out my pie.

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I hit a new cooking low tonight – I burned rice. I checked on it a full SEVEN minutes early, yet there was my new stainless steel pot with 1/2 inch layer of crusted grains stuck to the bottom.

In a Thanksgiving cooking class a few years ago, I forgot to put sugar in my pumpkin pie. And, during a Christmas dinner I served brownies iced with Cool Whip and crushed candy canes. Do you know what it sounds like when eight people are eating crushed candy canes at the same time? There isn’t enough Andy Williams in the world to drown out the crunching.

My husband would probably have a much longer list of my kitchen fails. So would my daughter. My son once ate a beet and a radish at the same time so he doesn’t get a taste opinion.

I won’t even mention my cakes.

Cooking is a lot like life. Sometimes it turns out crusty, soggy or just plain rotten, and sometimes it’s smooth and delicious. What I can say for certain is that there isn’t always a quick fix; you can’t come to depend on microwaved meals all the time.

So I’m going to step away from the instant stuff and do a little more slow cooking. I won’t give up on my kitchen dreams, because you just never know when you won’t burn the rice.

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We went to a wedding yesterday for our nephew Mike and his lovely bride, Lisa. This picture was shamelessly stolen from my sister-in-law. Thanks, Laura! Though next time, let’s make sure we watch for background light diffusion and foreground shadows. I know these technical things because I often take pictures of my dog with my phone. That pretty much makes me an expert.

Mike was just a kid when his uncle and I started dating; back then, we still called him Michael. It was before middle school and braces and long before he joined the Marines and served in Afghanistan. I never anticipated that I’d be giving that kid unsolicited marital advice, but while he was busy growing up, I was busy getting relationship experience under my belt. It’s kind of my duty to tell him. It’s like I’m the Godfather. Except I’m a woman. And, not in the mafia. Here goes:

Dear Mike,

First, let me say that your brother gave an excellent speech last night: “People always say, ‘Don’t go to bed mad,’ but when the kids are crying and you’re tired, and fighting with your spouse, sometimes you just need to go to bed and things will be better in the morning.” I concur. Wholeheartedly. Just sleep.

There will be times when you are so angry – and sometimes it’s not even anger but just sheer monotony – and you think there’s NO WAY things can get better. You’ll think you can’t possibly spend another day with this person, let alone the rest of your life.

But, when you get through it you won’t believe how much stronger your relationship is. You will love your wife like never before and you won’t understand how you could have ever thought otherwise. Except for maybe when she tracks mud in across your just mopped floor. Or leaves the seat up in the middle of the night. But, let’s hope she won’t do that.

I know you realize this commitment is forever, so don’t ever say anything to her that you wouldn’t want said to you. Or, if she’s like me and holds a grudge for years, don’t say anything that she can throw in your face a decade from now. Women have good memories and we can use them for evil.

Kiss her every day. Tell her you love her. Rub her shoulders. Hold hands. Split the chores – and occasionally do hers as a surprise. That last bit of advice is really for your uncle. Hi honey! But, really. Housework is hot.

Oh, and one last thing; this marriage stuff is hard and you WILL screw it up. You both will. It is also the most beautiful, rewarding, comforting, secure partnership you will ever have, as long as you remember that you’re in this together. Forever.

You got this.

Love,

Aunt Diane

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