At 2:45am this morning I woke from a nightmare about the movie Se7en. If you never saw it, then protect your psyche and DON’T. I can’t tell you exactly what was going on in my dream other than the gluttony scene, likely because I’m three days into some major lifestyle changes (again). I’m starting to feel like that big dude who was forced to eat himself to death. I digress.
The difference between me and someone who doesn’t suffer from anxiety is that I woke up and logically thought that because I was having this nightmare it meant someone was in the house. Probably Kevin Spacey. With a box.
From 2:45am until 4:30am, between stolen glances into the hallway to look for a killer, and playing games of Candy Crush, I tried to tell myself that I was being ridiculous. It’s the same thing I tell myself whenever I get in my car, or drop my daughter off at school, or many other normal tasks where I perceive danger.
Maybe it will benefit me someday; like if someone tries to attack us in church. I may be the only one with a plan to use the candleholders next to the altar as weapons. Fair warning, attackers.
Do you count how many rows you need to climb over to get to the airplane exit in case your pilot lands on the Hudson River? I do. Note, I said “climb over” because everyone else will be messing around in the aisle. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Maybe our fire escape plan will actually work because I’ve gone over it time and time again in my head. I know exactly how I’m going to throw my children to my husband and then jump into a bush. Of course, my daughter is almost 15 and I’m pretty sure I can’t throw her on an average day, but in a fire? That girl is getting tossed.
Now that I think about it, my anxiety has me uber prepared to handle all kinds of situations.
So bring it, Kevin Spacey. I’ll be the one wide-awake.
Follow
Email
Comments
Melisa
I got nothin but hugs.
Toni
I SO wish I had never seen that movie, it’s one of those things that leaves me very angry that they even make movies like that……UGH.
And no, I don’t do all of your voodoo, but I do my very best not to sit with my back to a door (think Duffy’s) ’cause growing up in a bar that’s how my Daddy raised me!
Hugs…XO (Now I’m scared to go to sleep)
monica
Wait a minute…am I married to you? Oh wait, you’re not a short Italian Mexican dude and you don’t live in California. But other than that? Same person. He does all of that planning for threat-response stuff.
I don’t do that, but I do have this uncanny feeling that I would move a car in the blink of an eye if danger required it.
meeshie
The lust scene.. freaked me out. Made me cross my legs and just.. ughs. Ugh ugh ugh.
Tabatha
I love this so hard. Mostly because I have unironically discussed our legitimate gameplan were we to be embroiled in a zombie apocalypse.
Being a senior Girl Scout with generalized anxiety disorder can have its perks, I guess.
Arnebya
Maybe the phantom from my hallway is now in yours. I’m glad he’s gone but he seems to have been replaced by rabid squirrels that I believe are under my bed just waiting for my to lower my feet. Uh uh, that’s okay, don’t have to pee that badly. (Also, yes, I’ve counted the seats. Hell, I’ve counted the paces it took me to get to my seat and any stairs that led into the terminal).
WHAT’S IN THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOX?
Liz
I have blogged MANY TIMES about this too, except for me it’s mostly zombies. (((hugs)))
Amie
You just described several years of my childhood after watching A Nightmare on Elm Street…only I didn’t have Candy Crush or a well-thought-out plan of attack.
Hey Momo, “what’s in the booooooooox?”
Melissa "Miz Meliz" Reyes
Way to turn it around! Bring it!
tara
Oh my god, yes! I totally try to figure out my escape plan, no matter how ridiculous! Also, I got scared by a huge box in the hallway that looked like a person and was convinced someone was hiding behind it and the only way to protect myself would be to have my dog sleep with me. It obviously worked…?