Oh, pop culture. Sigh. I am in your news every day and sometimes you confuse me. Most of the time, actually. Before I burst, these are some things I need to get off my chest. It should be noted that my mother is going to read this and not recognize a single name. Some day, maybe I’ll rant about Doris Day.

1. I don’t care what the Kardashians do. Not even a little bit. Not ever.

2. Why is there going to be a live version of The Sound of Music and why is it starring Carrie Underwood? This question looks absurd, but I can assure you this is happening, people.

3. When I grow up I want to be Jennifer Lawrence.

4. And, I want Jimmy Fallon to be my neighbor.

5. I don’t know what Miley Cyrus is doing, but I don’t approve.

6. Rihanna needs to dump Chris Brown once and for all.

7. Jay Z is awesome. Justin Timberlake is awesome. Now they should go their separate ways.

8. How could AC/DC sell “Back in Black” for retail, commercial purposes? Bon Scott is rolling over in his grave.

9. I’m a big fan of Mark Wahlberg, but even I can’t stand behind him starring in a reality show about his restaurant, “Wahlburgers.” I can’t even stand behind the name “Wahlburgers.”

And, to redeem all of the above nonsense:

10. Downton Abbey’s fourth season starts in 54 days. Not that I’m counting.

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