Things that made today awful:

1. Grocery shopping in the rain.

2. Wet socks

3. The dog rolling in dead stuff.

4. $388 in medical bills in addition to the $224 from yesterday and the $188 I spent on groceries. In the rain.

5. Hot coffee splashing my eyeball.

6. A hangnail.

7. My scale.

Things that made today good:

1. I didn’t have to turn on the heat.

2. I didn’t have to turn on the air conditioning.

3. I got paid for a post I wrote.

4. Kenny Loggins. Shut up.

5. The dog got a bath.

6. I laughed.

7. I realized that tomorrow is another day.

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I’ll be honest, I’m the first person to admit that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

I didn’t have any siblings who were close to my age. By the time I could form full sentences, my three older sisters had either moved out, or were close to it, and my step-sister and I never lived together. Sibling rivalry, I know it not.

I thought I understood the dynamics from watching my friends with their brothers and sisters. I remember the occasional name-calling or shoving match and thinking that I was glad I didn’t have to share my room, but I don’t remember seeing anyone have complete and utter disdain for a sibling until my kids came along.

Everyone tells me it’s normal. Everyone says that it’s just a phase and my kids will grow up to be kind to each other, but right now things seem awfully bleak.

I understand that it’s hard to be a 13 year old girl, because a long, long time ago I was one. You know how people say there are only two things which are certain; death and taxes? Well, if you’re a girl you can say death, taxes and hormones and when you’re 13, the wicked ones are raging. I would imagine it’s especially hard to be a 13 year girl and have a little brother with special needs. That is something I can’t pretend to comprehend.

What I do know is that my 10 year old son and his many quirks and needs are sometimes painful for all of us, but always painful for some of us. And, by some of us I mean my daughter and only my daughter. Every single thing he does annoys her. Greatly.

When you’re a teenager there isn’t anything worse than not fitting in and her little brother doesn’t. As much as I would love for her to swoop in and be the big sister who helps him with homework, reads to him at night and protects him from bullies, I have accepted this is unrealistic. It’s just not who she is. She’s more of the eye-rolling, never-speaking, ignoring type.

Of course, there are a lot of things I want that I can’t have, but giving up this dream feels harder than most. It wasn’t along the lines of having a home in Hawaii or the leading role in The Notebook alongside Ryan Gosling; this sibling-love thing seemed doable. Instead, it has turned into a sort of love-story gone wrong; mutual admiration morphed into him adoring her and asking about her day and her yelling at him and slamming the bedroom door with an, “UGH!” and “You are so annoying!” thrown in for good measure. I’ve seen people divorce over less.

Maybe I should stop expecting so much from my dreams and just be happy if they don’t end up killing each other.

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What? You still aren’t using social media? I have news for you. It’s not 1995 anymore.

Maybe you aren’t having trouble adopting the inevitable; maybe it’s your friend, mother, sister or spouse who needs to be convinced. You know, the spouse who saw you get a job by posting on Twitter and who sees you wielding its power every day? Hypothetically.

But, Twitter and Facebook aren’t just for bloggers. I’m here to tell you that even the staunchest anti-socialites have reasons to be using these tools. If I could leave it at that I would, but I know you people. You want reasons. Have I ever told you that I like how you keep me on my toes? *dons ballet shoes* Let’s do this.

For Money

Are you in sales and could use extra business? Do you own your a store or restaurant? Do you sell things on ebay? Have garage sales? Need a job? All of these you can advertise FOR FREE on social media. When was the last time you filled out an employment application online? If it’s been awhile, let me just tell you that it is a tedious process. The days of mailing out your resume and cover letter are long gone and unless you know someone it’s hard to get your foot in the door anywhere.

How can social media help?

Let’s use Twitter as an example here and start with an easy way to jump into a conversation. Twitter search allows you to quickly find people with similar interests. Remember this is social media, so you will have to talk to people. The beauty of Twitter is that you can edit your thought before you send it, which is great for those of us who often stick a foot in our mouth.

Twitter Search. It doesn’t get any easier.

Search for your favorite sports team, your city, the company that holds your dream position; start conversations and continue them. You will find that just by being yourself you will naturally make connections with people who share your point of view and interests. However, I recommend an 80/20 ratio in using Twitter as a personal marketing tool. Make 80% of your content social conversation and 20% of it promotion. Trust me when I say that the next time Joe from Twitter needs the service you offer, he’ll come to you because you both hate the same hockey team. That comes from your love of the NHL, not from marketing your business.

Community

Does your school have fund raisers? Want to throw a block party? Do you need freeway-traffic info? Have you lost a dog? If you’ve ever had a classroom of parents hitting reply-all the Halloween party thread, you know what a pain it is to scroll through them to find the one that says you’re supposed to bring napkins.

How can social media help?

Facebook isn’t just a good place to share pictures of your kids with friends from high school, it’s also an excellent venue for small, private groups to make connections. I belong to a group for my kids’ school where we not only remind each other to send in Box Tops, but where I also picked up unused uniforms from another parent last week. Gap boys’ pants with the tag still on. Woot! My neighborhood has a block-watch page where we share descriptions of suspicious cars, lost pets and break-ins. There are local and regional groups for anything and everything under the sun. Or, you can create your very own!

Referrals

Could you use a new internet provider? Does your car need repairs? Have you thought of hiring someone to cut your grass, walk your dogs or clean your house? In this day and age I can’t imagine blindly calling someone out of the phone book when you can so easily ask for a testimonial. You don’t have to risk it!

How can social media help?

When I needed a mason for my crumbling chimney I turned to social media and not only found someone quickly, but I found someone who had done work for numerous Facebook friends. When I decided to color my own hair, I asked Twitter for recommendations on hair dye. It’s not just asking one friend for their opinion, it’s asking hundreds, if not thousands.

Support

Are you depressed? Have you had a child diagnosed with autism? Are you fighting a chronic illness? If you would feel better knowing you’re not alone, use social media to find people who understand what you’re going through.

How can social media help?

The wonderful thing about the internet is that the community is endless. When my son was diagnosed with a rare heart defect in utero, I couldn’t find anything about it on the internet. Nothing. That was in 2002. Now, a quick search turns up results even though incidence is only .1% of all congenital heart disease and I can find hospitals, cardiologists and other parents talking about it online. Something that once made me feel isolated now makes me feel like I have comrades in arms. *pumps fist in air*

Ideas and inspiration

Are you planning a wedding? Do you want to travel? Have you always wanted to attempt a DIY project? Are you still trying to find the perfect meatloaf recipe? Believe this, someone else has tried it and failed, then tried it again and again until they’ve perfected it. You don’t have to invent the wheel.

How can social media help?

Just ask. There are experts everywhere and if you can’t find an expert, there’s always Pinterest.

my pinterest “want” board. hint, hint!

Don’t tell my kids’ teachers, but Twitter has helped me with their homework more times than I can count. Especially if the counting involves two trains leaving stations twelve miles apart. Also, adverbial clauses. Need I say more?

So you see? Social media doesn’t have to be a foreign land to which you fear to venture; social media is the old front porch, back fence, or local coffee shop. It’s a, mostly, friendly place where you can learn new things, meet people and gain insight into fresh experiences. It’s where you can put your finger on the pulse of EVERYTHING.

And now, there’s no excuse not to.

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If you’ve heard me say it once, you’ve heard me say it 100 times; I would be the most conceited mother on the planet if my son had not been born.

My 13 year old daughter is super-smart and always has been. This is not to say her 10 year old brother isn’t smart, because he is, but she is a different kind of smart. He is so much like me and she is everything that I never was.

I remember the report cards saying that I didn’t apply myself, wasn’t living up to my potential, couldn’t stay on task; the thing I don’t remember is anyone telling me that was unacceptable. There was no one standing over my shoulder making sure I got my homework done or helping me study for tests. There was no one pushing me.

This is why my daughter is different. She doesn’t have anyone doing those things for her either, because she does them for herself. Sure, I am here if she needs my help (unless it’s algebra, because COME ON, that stuff is hard), but for the most part she does everything on her own.

Unlike what I have to do with my son, I don’t ever need to ask her if she’s finished her homework, studied for extra credit, or push her to do more reading. She is responsible, studious, and bright. She’s not always the best listener or especially kind to her little brother, but when it comes to school she works really hard. School, eye-rolling and deep sighs she has down pat. Also, she’s really good at not unloading the dishwasher.

But, that whole school thing? It’s the reason why I’m putting pressure on her to be something great.

I don’t want her to find my expectations anxiety-inducing and I don’t want her to burn out, but I want her to do her best. I want both of my kids to work at the highest level they can, because I didn’t. And, if there’s anything I’ve learned as a parent, it’s that I have to live vicariously through my children.

Deep inside, I feel that I’m doing my best by telling my daughter she has it in her to take her life in any direction she sees fit. And, it’s about time I started living up to my potential.

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