She is always smiling.

I last saw her on Christmas Day, standing in my mom’s driveway in her down coat. The sun was shining, which it rarely does here in December and that made me happy because she loves the sun, as I do. She was smiling. She is always smiling.

The news came a few days before Christmas. Cancer. The lab report from her biopsy saying it had spread to surrounding tissue, then an MRI that showed the involvement of three lymph nodes. It had been over a year since her symptoms caused her to start seeing doctors. Numerous doctors. They all misdiagnosed it. None of them did a biopsy.

Apparently, it’s an easy cancer to miss, but that doesn’t make the news easier to bear. On January 9th, she starts five weeks of radiation (with two full weeks of in-patient chemo thrown in). I think there are a lot of days ahead when I won’t see her smiling. That’s okay. I don’t want her to. I want her to get mad and tough and put up the fight of her life.

I just talked to her and told her that it’s a good thing she’s scrappy. I once saw her and another one of my sisters having a fistfight that was a lot like Rocky, but with more hair-pulling and face scratching. I know she will get through this, because she is amazing. The only problem is that she is the one who always lifts our spirits. We have really big shoes to fill.

On this, the eve of her birthday, I didn’t end the call by saying, “Happy birthday!” or “Happy New Year!” Instead I said, “We are praying.”

I hope that made her smile.

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Thirteen is said to be an unlucky number, but I tend to think it’s lucky because it’s the number you are today.

I’ve had thirteen years of you, and though it’s gone by in the blink of an eye, it’s been tremendously rewarding. So far, you have been a pretty super kid.

It’s hard for me to comprehend that in five years, you will be eighteen and it’s just as hard to think that five years ago, you were just turning eight. But, right now, while you are smack-dab in the middle of childhood and adulthood, I am enjoying watching you grow and change. I won’t lie, I could do without your grumpy attitude sometimes, but I’m sure you could say the same thing about me.

You are smart, funny and a good friend. I love that you read all the time, that you’re good at math and that you love music. I love that you hate to lose, but when you do, you’re a good sport about it. I love that you’re charitable and responsible and that you have a hearty laugh. I love to watch you play the piano, dance, play softball, and sing.

But mostly, I love that you’re my daughter.

Happy 13th birthday, Goose! If you could stop getting older now, that would be great.

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Last year, my husband told me that I should post a year-end recap. Because my brain is currently swimming in a sea of egg nog and peanut butter blossoms, this seems to be a good time to do it again.

In January, I traveled to Nashville and wrote my last Oprah Cliffs Notes. *sniff*

On Valentine’s Day, I posted the story that I would later read in front of thousands of people at the BlogHer Voices of the Year keynote. *gulp*

March, and looming swimsuit season, meant that I wrote about my battles with my weight. Again.

I rewarded my son upon my return from Seattle in April. Then he insulted me. Also, what else is new?

In May, he insulted a cashier.

And, in June he kind of called me a man.

In July, I asked Question of the Day XI and I took my daughter on a trip to Chicago to visit my friend, Melisa.

I traveled to San Diego in August and I almost didn’t come home.

In September, we visited the Lake Erie shore and I realized that I gained the confidence that I never had in my twenties.

I gave out running advice in October…you know, like “Never trust a fart” and I traveled to New York to mingle with professional writers and editors who probably don’t ever write about such things.

In November, I visited the Hocking Hills in southern Ohio and I lost my mind and tried to post every single day. I almost did it because it’s easy to write when you have a constant companion.

And, a couple of weeks ago, I gave you a peek into my lovely home.

Thank you to all of the readers who swung by here this past year. Also, thank you to the sponsors who gave away experiences, books, gift baskets, clothing, a coffee maker, a Kindle Fire and over $600 in gift cards to those incredibly awesome and influential readers. I am a lucky blogger.

Cheers, everyone. Here’s to a fabulous 2012 for all of us!

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Now you all know why I lip-sync at church. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Originally performed for this concert.

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