1. You may begin your Memorial Day weekend with fond remembrance, thanks for our military and high hopes for three beautiful days with your family.

2. But, then you will pick up your kids after school on Friday, go to the grocery store and end up yelling at them in the middle of the frozen foods aisle because they are bickering over a shopping cart.

3. And, you’re only 10 minutes in to the weekend.

4. On Saturday, the weeks of rain may give way to sunshine and warmer weather. Sweltering, even.

5. Which leads the mosquitoes to say, “Mmm…LUNCH!”

6. Which is what your dog might say when she finds a dead rabbit in the park.

7. And a dead squirrel in the road.

8. Then your son might use his face to stop a skateboard.

9. But, gigantic S’mores make it all better.

10. Until the neighbor’s dog wags her huge tail right into your son’s marshmallow.

11.  To finish your weekend, you may attend a party at which you judge each others alcoholic drinks. Lots of alcoholic drinks.

12. Then you realize that you’re a schmuck when it comes to throwing parties because the hostess serves more hamburger toppings than you make for a whole meal.

13. And, the next day…after all of those drinks…seeing a picture of sauerkraut and sauteed mushrooms is enough to make you never want a burger again.

Follow

Email

Fifteen years ago, I had a mid-life crisis at the ripe old age of 24.  I had just got engaged and I had a great job, and dudes, I drove a Ford Taurus.  Things should have been rosy.

The crisis came just two weeks after my engagement when I turned 25.  I hated turning 25.  Something about turning a quarter of a century made me feel as if I couldn’t act like a kid anymore.

But you know what?  I found that wasn’t the case at all.  I still ride roller coasters, I am trying to get my co-workers to join me in the creation of a skipping club and yesterday I wore my hair in pigtails.  Okay, it was just because my daughter said I was too old to wear pigtails and I live to embarrass her…but, still, I totally wore them.

If I had known then what I know now I would have embraced 25.  Shoot, I would have made out with 25.  And, like a friend of mine always says, had I known what would happen to my body I would have walked around in a bikini everywhere I went.

Next week I turn 40 and I’ve been feeling another mid-life crisis coming on.  Only this is a real mid-life crisis, because now I’m actually mid-life.  That’s mid-life, if I’m lucky. This crisis isn’t about whether I can act like a kid, but about the fact that 15 years ago I was turning 25 and that 15 years from now I will be turning 55.  FIFTY-FIVE.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  You know…if YOU are 55.

I really shouldn’t mind because my life is in a great place right now.  Three days before my 40th birthday, I start working full-time at a job I love.  Some people can’t say that their entire lives and I’m only halfway through mine.  Remember, that’s if I’m lucky.

My health is good.  If you don’t count insomnia and 40 extra pounds.  Really.  Don’t count it.

I have a great family, live in a good neighborhood, have two sweet dogs, have fantastic friends and am part of amazing communities at the kids’ school and our church.  I am blessed.

But turning 40 really stinks and I’m going to whine about it until I’m blue in the face.

Because, clearly, age and maturity are two very different things.

Follow

Email

Some of the most embarrassing moments with my son have taken place at cash registers.  As if it isn’t bad enough to fork over $75 at Target when all you wanted was a roll of paper towels, try having your son tell the cashier that she looks like “kind of a girl” or that her big lips make her resemble a fish.

This would be why, a couple of weeks ago, my 12 year old daughter was a quick-thinker and pulled her little brother out of the grocery store line.  I had no idea what she was doing, until I stopped removing items from my cart, looked at the cashier and noticed he was wearing an eye patch.  Clearly, that guy was going to get called “a pirate”.

But, when we approached the register at the grocery store yesterday I didn’t see anything that might cause him to make a comment.  I was proactive and chose a cashier who was nice looking, clean and without blemishes.

And, of course, it backfired.

My son spied the young, blond-haired girl scanning our items and said, “Ohhhh, you’re pretty!”

She smiled as he gave her his shy look and smiled back.

Then his shy look disappeared and his expression became one of excitement as he looked over her shoulder, pointed to a different cashier and said, “Wait.  Actually, that girl over there is the pretty one!”

Follow

Email

I have been trying to be a better shopper lately when it comes to choosing food for my family.  I make a lot of purchases in the organic section and whenever I can, I choose items that are locally grown.

Being more food conscious made me especially excited when I was offered a chance to check out a new restaurant here in Columbus, called Sweet Clove Sunshine Cafe.

The press release promised an experience like none other, with fresh ingredients like Ohio Amish Cheese and real, Vermont Pure Maple Syrup, farm-fresh, real, cracked eggs (not a mix or substitute).  AND, they don’t fry their bacon.  They BAKE it.

Their kitchen has “no can openers, microwaves, fryers, trans fats, or MSG”…not even for the French fries.  Everything is oven baked.

But, while all of those things made me want to eat there, what really caught my interest was that the restaurant is located inside the Honeybaked Ham store on Sawmill Road.  Yes, that’s right.  Melt-in-your-mouth, Honeybaked Ham.  SOLD!

My family and I visited the restaurant on a Sunday afternoon and we were quickly greeted and seated, then brought warm, fresh-baked, crumb cake with maple butter.  By the time I got my camera out, my son had almost finished his.  Though, in his defense, I had to wipe the maple butter off of my fingers first.

It was a cold, rainy day (also known as Ohio in the springtime), so I ordered the kids some hot chocolate.  It arrived at the perfect temperature, with thick, homemade whipped cream on top, then drizzled with chocolate syrup.  It was delicious and, admittedly, the kids had to fight to keep me from emptying the content of their mugs into my belly.

We arrived around 1:00, so we settled on the lunch menu.  I ordered a Hawaiian Wrap (Honeybaked Ham, Amish Baby Swiss Cheese, Pineapple Slaw, baby greens and tomato).  Yum.

My daughter ordered an Ultimate Club and the waitress looked at her like she had three heads (in a totally nice way), then she took pity on my daughter’s stomach and suggested, “Maybe you should just get half of one.”

My husband also ordered the Ultimate Club and my son ordered a very reasonably priced kid’s meal that consisted of a Honeybaked Ham and Cheese sandwich and waffle fries.

When our food arrived (and this was the only part of the visit that was remotely unpleasant…it took a long time to get our food) I understood why the waitress had given my daughter that look.

This was my wrap.

This picture is lacking perspective, so let me just tell you that half of this wrap was as big as my face and the half Club that my daughter ordered was at least as much food as a full portion at most restaurants.  Between the four of us, we left with two full containers of leftovers.  (I enjoyed the other half of my wrap the next day and it was still just as tasty.)

It wouldn’t be fair of me to talk about delicious food and show you pictures of delicious food without offering you a chance to have some delicious food of your own, now would it?

So, here’s your chance!

I will be giving away a $25.00 gift card to one Central-Ohio reader for Sweet Clove Sunshine Cafe along with a coupon to buy one entree, get one free.  Just leave a comment on this post (with a valid email address) and you will be entered to win.  A winner will be chosen on May 26th, at 5:00pm EST.

And, just so everyone has a chance to experience Sweet Clove Sunshine Cafe, I am passing along this coupon.  Hurry!  It expires soon!  Enjoy!

Follow

Email