When I was in high school, I used to starve myself. It wasn’t to the point that I had an eating disorder, but there were times I would go days where the only thing I would eat was a piece of cheese. That was only if I was feeling light-headed.
Somewhere along the line, I started eating cheese because it tasted good and not because it kept me from passing out. Then I had sick babies and started eating cheese because the very act of chewing took my mind off of the thought that my children might not survive.
Then I realized that there were all kinds of foods I liked that I had never let myself eat before. Stuff like mayonnaise, peanut butter and beer. Those foods + A decade of anxiety eating = My thighs.
During this period, I’ve lost and gained the same weight over and over. Every spring, some comes off and every fall more comes back.
Not this year. It’s not budging.
I started bootcamp at the end of January and have lost a whopping two pounds. Though, admittedly, I haven’t stopped that beer thing. However, if my jeans would fit based on increased flexibility and range of motion I would look fantastic. Why doesn’t the scale notice that? Huh?
I think part of it is because some of my meds have changed, but more of it is because I’m turning 40 in June. My body is saying it has had enough of this torture. I deserve every bit of pain the instructor is inflicting on me as punishment for treating my body like a trash can. George Costanza’s trash can.
So I will continue to plug along, squeezing in three, one-hour workouts per week in the grand hopes that someday I will no longer have to squeeze into my pants.
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meleah rebeccah
Hang in there Momo. Even if the weight isn’t coming off like you want it to, exercising has to make you feel so much better mentally. And that’s priceless. Yes?
weaselmomma
I’m here to cheer you on, love!
BTW, 40 in June? You make it look good and I think we may have to plan a party and a roadtrip!
Headless Mom
Been there, done that, need to start again now that I’m almost 43.
Sigh.
Jamie
It does get harder, believe me…but maybe there’s been only had a net loss of two pounds because you’ve lost fat but gained muscle? I’d go with the jeans’ test over the scale.
Momo Fali
The jeans aren’t getting any looser. I guess I can always go back to cheese.
Melisa
You don’t look a day over 28.
Cass
a) Cheese is God’s gift. Long live the cheese.
b) Though you’re not yet seeing a difference in clothing sizes, know that you’re setting a great example for your kids as far as being active goes.
c) Your heart loves you for it.
Great post.
Heather
I’m really proud of you Momo! You are doing an awesome thing by getting active and moving around and you will really start to see those results 🙂
GOOD FOR YOU Girlie!
Lisa
I hear ya! I’ve never had a weight issue and now I am going up a size every few months. It is terrifyiNG!
🙂
Lisa
Tara R.
Keep it up, you’ll start seeing results. If you’re feeling better, healthier, that’s a great beginning.
Melissa
I turned 40 last year and about a week after I started to blame my big booty on the 40 year old spread. My friends laughed at me but I’m sticking to my story.
Good luck with your jeans…I say buy a bigger pair 🙂
Thanks for the book!
m
mrsmouthy
Heh, George Costanza’s garbage can. Where do you come up with this stuff?
Christina
Whoa, you’re going 3 days a week now? I don’t know if I could handle the classes 3 days a week.
I understand the detemination to not let yourself backslide this time. I look back at all of the photos of myself from my 20’s, and all I can think is, “Why did I waste all of that time being fat?” I feel like I missed out on that period of golden youth because of too many Big Macs and milkshakes.
You’ll do it this time. I’m confident in you. (And hey, what days/times are you going now? I’ve been thinking about rearranging my schedule now that they’re more willing to let me switch classes.)
rockle
I’ve been on a diet (well, a “lifestyle change”) since May of last year. I lost 75 pounds so far, with another 65 to go, even though that is probably overly ambitious. Anyway. I lost weight a lot faster when I wasn’t exercising. But I FEEL better now that I have started my “dance like you’re drunk at a wedding” exercise plan. Even though that pair of pants that I bought months ago still sits in the mail-order bag, mocking me. I will conquer those pants if it KILLS me.
I quit this diet the second I have to give up cheese, though. Life is too short to abstain from smoked gouda entirely.
WebSavvyMom
–>My husband and I signed up for http://www.sparkpeople.com earlier this year to track our food intake. I don’t exercise but it was interesting to be held accountable for my tiny snacks throughout the day. I still drink beer. I just try not to do it during the week. I’m down eight pounds. He’s down 18. Jerk. Good luck!
deb
UP
1. I live for cheese.
2. I walk a lot!
3. I have 2 sizes of jeans.
4. I eat the same thing every day for breakfast and lunch…Dr. Oz likes this.
5. Wait til you start pushing 60! 40 is a breeze babe! A breeze!
UP
Liz
I’m 40-something-or-another and have occasionally relied on my period jeans (okay, frequently) when feeling all squeeze-y. Personally, I believe the use of scales to be highly over-rated. Wear your period pants, instead!!!!
always home and uncool
40 is nature’s way of saying EFF you and your efforts to improve.
I have to admit, I started a food journal on Jan. 1 and its the only reason I have lost 23 pounds since. Guilt about exceeding your calorie limit works wonders.
AlisonH
Muscle weighs more than fat but takes up less space. You’re doing fine.
Lisa Schneider
Momo Fali- I am loving this blog! Amy O. was right- you are hilarious. It was GREAT to hang out with you and your fam in Columbus.
I have you in my favorites now…yeah!
Lisa (Chicago)