Archive for March, 2011

Squeeze Play

posted by Momo Fali on March 29, 2011

When I was in high school, I used to starve myself.  It wasn’t to the point that I had an eating disorder, but there were times I would go days where the only thing I would eat was a piece of cheese.  That was only if I was feeling light-headed.

Somewhere along the line, I started eating cheese because it tasted good and not because it kept me from passing out.  Then I had sick babies and started eating cheese because the very act of chewing took my mind off of the thought that my children might not survive.

Then I realized that there were all kinds of foods I liked that I had never let myself eat before.  Stuff like mayonnaise, peanut butter and beer.  Those foods + A decade of anxiety eating = My thighs.

During this period, I’ve lost and gained the same weight over and over.  Every spring, some comes off and every fall more comes back.

Not this year.  It’s not budging.

I started bootcamp at the end of January and have lost a whopping two pounds.  Though, admittedly, I haven’t stopped that beer thing.  However, if my jeans would fit based on increased flexibility and range of motion I would look fantastic.  Why doesn’t the scale notice that?  Huh?

I think part of it is because some of my meds have changed, but more of it is because I’m turning 40 in June.  My body is saying it has had enough of this torture.  I deserve every bit of pain the instructor is inflicting on me as punishment for treating my body like a trash can.  George Costanza’s trash can.

So I will continue to plug along, squeezing in three, one-hour workouts per week in the grand hopes that someday I will no longer have to squeeze into my pants.

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NOTHING BUT A NUMBER

posted by Momo Fali on March 26, 2011

This afternoon, my husband was out on a 16 mile run…which I could totally do if you took the “6” away and let me stop frequently for puffs of my inhaler.  My daughter was napping because of yesterday’s festivities, which included an indoor swim party, softball practice and having a friend sleep over.  And, I was working on a spreadsheet.

My son was bored.  Really bored.  He kept asking, “What can I DOOOO?” with increasing urgency and when he burst into tears and said, “I’m so LONELY!” I decided he was truly attention starved and got off of my computer.

I motioned for him to sit on my lap and said, “Come here, buddy.  I know you want to play with your sister, but she’s really tired.  I’ll play with you.”

As he climbed on my leg the sobbing continued.  He removed his glasses and wiped his face, then he looked at me through his tears and said, “But, you’re so old!”

Age may be nothing but a number, but this kid’s sure got mine.

It’s a Gas

posted by Momo Fali on March 23, 2011

My kids have embarrassed me a lot.  I know it’s supposed to be the other way around and it’s possible that I have skipped in the supermarket and walked down the aisle at Home Depot with my hand in my husband’s back pocket just to get my tween daughter all worked up.

But, I have never turned their faces red in church.

A couple of weeks ago, my son not only applauded after the priest finished his homily, but my daughter also leaned over and whispered loudly, “Mom, your roots are really dark.”

But, even they can’t trump what my husband did in church when he went rummaging through my purse looking for mints and instead pulled out a package of Beano.

Levi’s Up Close

posted by Momo Fali on March 21, 2011

I finally got a new phone yesterday.

As much as it pained me to give up my Blackberry, I was growing tired of having to remove the battery and reinstall it every time I wanted to check my email.  Plus, on Saturday I got out of the car with my hands full and dropped it on the driveway.  Then I stepped on it.  I wear a size 11 shoe.  Enough said.

After spending over two hours at the phone store yesterday, my husband and I left with brand new Droids.  On a related note:  If anyone wants to help me set up my four email accounts, there’s a doughnut in it for you.

Our kids had been more than patient while we were choosing phones and getting things changed over.  As a reward, we decided to let our son have one of the old Blackberries, so he could still play games and take pictures.

I thought he would be more interested in Hangman, but he started snapping pictures left and right.  Inside the car, in the driveway, photos of the dog’s tail, my shoes, his football.  You name it, he took a picture of it.

But it wasn’t long before I realized he isn’t so much a photographer as he is a typical boy, because when I was reading my new phone manual I looked up to see him taking pictures of his own butt.