Despite the uncertainty that comes with having a child with medical problems, there is always one thing that is constant with my eight year old son.  We never know what he’s going to say or do.

Most recently, this has come in the form of him telling his sister, “I love you!  Sometimes.”  And, let me just tell you how much a 12 year old likes hearing something negative from her brother.  Wait, scratch that.  Let me tell you how much a 12 year old likes hearing anything from her brother.  If I got paid for listening to squabbling, I’d be driving a Bentley.

On one hand, I feel like I always need to be on my toes, but on the other I find myself appreciating the boy’s honesty and lack of couth.  It has to be freeing.

The other night, we had two other couples and six kids at our house when my boy came in the living room to tell me that his leg hurt.  I pulled up his pant leg to his knee, but he complained that the pain was higher.  He didn’t appear to limping or bleeding, so I told him we would look at it when he went to bed.

But, he didn’t want to wait.

Before I knew it, he had turned to face all of our guests as he said, “Hey everybody, this is going to be funny.”  Which is when I saw him reach for his zipper.

One thing I didn’t think I would have to tell my second-grader is that it’s not okay to pull your pants down in public.

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1.  If you have never heard of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), then you must not live in Ohio.  We invented it.

2.  Not really, but we could have.

3.  Vitamin D supplements don’t make up for the missing sunshine, no matter how much you take.

4.  And, don’t take too much or it will lead to a different disorder, entirely.

5.  Don’t let Mother Nature fool you when she orders up 65 degree temperatures in mid-February.

6.  Because it only lasts long enough for things to start thawing.

7.  And, for your dog to start rolling in poop and in dead animals that have been laying under a bed of snow for months.

8.  But, of course, it’s too cold to bathe your dog with a hose.

9.  Which is when you will seriously consider taking her to the car wash.

10.  There is no doubt, however, that you would let your dog roll in just about anything, and you would put up with the cold and the Vitamin D overload, if you could just see a blue sky again.

11.  Because, really Ohio?  This perpetual gray is getting pretty old.

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This?  Is me screwing up the hard work of Judith Shakes Designs.

Here’s how it went down…

11:30pm Sunday:  My BlogHer ad is getting cut off in this new template.  I know that Judith Shakes is working on my new, custom design so, for the time being, maybe I can just find a template with a wider right sidebar so my ad will fit.  It can’t be that hard.  WordPress is great!

12:00am Monday:  Wow, I’m really tired and this template with the tree is kind of like my Momo Fali’s tree, even though everything is gray and there is dark green writing and I really don’t like the font or where my pages show up.  Because, hello?!  My ad fits in the sidebar!  Maybe I’ll switch the template and find out how to put in my header and change the colors after the fact.

12:15am Monday:  *Takes Ambien*

12:35am Monday:  This template is AWESOME!  Just because my ad fits!  I’m sure there isn’t any other way for my ad to fit in this space without me COMPLETELY changing the template.  Right?  zzzzz.  Of course not!  zzzzz.  I’m doing it despite the fact that I keep dozing off!  zzzzz.

12:45am Monday:  zzzzz.  Why are these tags at the bottom of my header?  zzzzz.  Who wants to come to a humor blog and find a 9/11 tag right at the top of the page?   Oh here!  This zzzzz archive button zzzzz looks zzzzz like zzzzz the place to change zzzzz it.

1:10am Monday:  Okay, now I’m awake!  That was a good cat nap.  I should eat some Skittles.

1:25am Monday:  Whew.  I’m glad I didn’t change anything without copying it first!  *Copies archives* *Deletes* *Realizes that only one-third of the text got copied* *Don’t know if it was from the middle, beginning or end*  *Deletes everything* *Freaks out*  *Dozes off again*

7:15am Monday:  Ugh.  I’m still so tired and my mouth is all Skittley.  What the…oh no.  WHAT HAVE I DONE?????!!!!!!!

9:30am Monday:  *Slithers, via e-mail to Judith Shakes to apologize profusely for deleting every archive that she just moved over here.*  *Smacks self*  *Vows to never touch area of dashboard that says, “Themes” ever again*

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Remember when I said I was changing things up?  Well, the time is drawing near!

I put on my big girl panties and am now sitting pretty under my own domain!  Well, technically, Judith Shakes Design put my big girl panties on for me, because she is the best at getting people dressed.

And soon, I won’t just be wearing panties.  I’m going to have on comfy jeans, Chuck Taylors, and a soft t-shirt.  I was thinking about a ball gown, but I didn’t want to have to suck in my stomach.

So hang in there and stop back soon to see what Judith Shakes does with my hair.

And, don’t forget…if you book space on Judith Shakes’ calendar for design work of $300 or more, you can get $50 off with the code MOMO4EVER.  Which is probably the cutest coupon code ever!  Just sayin’.

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