On Saturday night, our family visited a haunted house and forest. I hate scary things. Do you see where this is going?
My kids had never seen me in a situation like this, although I have told them about the time that I sat in the car at a haunted house while my friends went in. When we pulled into the parking lot, I burst into tears because I was overwhelmed with fright. I was 25 years old.
I have always disliked scary stuff of any kind, but real life incidents involving a peeping Tom and an ex-boyfriend who stalked me made things worse. Now I have two dogs. And, two guns.
But, on Saturday I was in the middle of the dark woods and my guns were at home. Plus, this was a Boy Scout function and I’m pretty sure it’s extra illegal to shoot a Scout.
When people were emerging from piles of leaves or simply walking up quietly behind me so that when I looked over my shoulder to see the empty trail, but instead I saw a monster face practically sitting on my shoulder, my choices were to a) scream b) pee my pants c) begin yelling “small children” in order to get the goons to back off or d) all of the above.
Or, it’s possible I did all of those things and used my 11 year old daughter as a human shield, wherein I picked her up and held her out in front of me as if offering my child as a sacrifice to a zombie.
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Matty
Hey, when it comes to zombies, it's every man for himself. Children are not an exception. LOL
But you aren't alone. I know several grown-ups who are afraid of scary movies, Halloween adventures, and even the dark. Now as for me, give me a good haunted house, a spooky ride, and a thriller movie.
NYCPatty
I love you and would have done the SAME THING! LOL!
Briya
Yeah. I totally would've thrown my kid under a bus to get away from zombies. She's not scary at all. But I'm scary enough for EVERYONE.
Heather
I am terrified of haunted houses, mainly because they always have some sort of demented clown *shivers*. I mean, what is it with clowns?
Anywho, I love me some scary movies, but ONLY in the comfort of my home when I am literally on C's lap because of fear. Seems weird, i know.
🙂
Jacki
I just needed you to know that I laughed out loud at this one. I often read your posts, but this one finally prompted me to comment.
Sarah
LOL Momo! We took the kids to the local haunted trail last year. Because both girls (5 and 6 at the time) were beyond terrified before we even reached the haunted part, I had to ignore my fear of the dark and things popping out of the dark at me (I did punch someone's costumed dad at a haunted house once when I was a kid – just a terrified reaction to a looming mask), and instead I talked really loud and annoyingly about all the funny things we were seeing and how they were not real and could not touch us. But damn was I glad when we were out of there – my heart was just racing!
Sarah
and p.s. the kids decided they don't want to go this year. Yeah!
Jodi
Years ago my husband and I went with Secret Agent Mama and her hubby to a haunted house. I screamed so loud and hard through the whole thing that I pee'd my pants…that was pre-baby years btw.
I feel ya.
meleah rebeccah
I am just like you – completely terrified of all things remotely scary. That's why Halloween is my LEAST favorite holiday! And you couldn't PAY me to visit a haunted house/forest!
AlisonH
Nope. I ain't goin'. You can't make me. I'll keep to the cutesy side of Halloween.
Otter Thomas
At least you didn't use her as a human club. I'm not much on scary stuff either. Never saw the draw to getting the crap scared out of you.
Sadia
I don't watch horror movies. I was SO happy when our friend Kaylan moved in with us for a few months; she and hubby could go to the movies together!
Vodka Mom
EXTRA illegal? HELL, you'd get quadruple points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaha
you crack me up.
Ang
I've always hated things jumping out at me, Haunted Houses and scary movies–AACCKK!! No thanks!
The only Haunted House I've ever been in, about 4th grade, a Jaycees HH in an old auditorium that my dad helped build. We kids ran around as they built it so I KNEW where everything was and what it looked like. Otherwise- couldn't have paid me to go in!!
Edie Mindell
LOL!!! You made me laugh here.:-) But really, if the same happens to me, I'll do the same thing. I could faint when I'm really scared.:-)
Momo-Mama
Hahahaha…I would totally use my son as a human shield if placed in a scary situation. He's not tough like my daughter (whom we call Momo) but he would be a great distraction for the zombies so we could high tail it outta there. Does that sound bad?
Kristin
I never watch daytime TV, but I happened to tune in to Ellen on Friday. She sent one of her writers, who was scared to death of haunted houses, into one with a camera. It was HYSTERICAL.
You are brave. I could never do it.
WeaselMomma
and the Mother of the Year award mug goes to….
Nice work.