Not too long ago, I almost saw a pedestrian get killed. Cross-traffic was stopped at a light, or so this woman thought, and she stepped off the curb and into the crosswalk. A car ran the red light and missed her by inches.
The scene often runs through my mind in slow motion. I picture her hair getting blown by the passing car that almost ran her down. Yet, in my memory, her hair isn’t tossed by a whoosh of air. It is a gentle breeze because the picture runs so slow.
I feel much the same way about the time my son stopped breathing after one of his surgeries. I remember the frenzy and the near-constant push of medication. I remember my son screaming and then suddenly hearing nothing but the nurse yelling at him. But, all of that craziness also drags on in my mind. It’s as if remembering it at the pace at which it happened is too much for me to endure.
When I go back to the moment when my aunt told me that my cousin had died, I see her mouth move sluggishly as she said, “He’s gone”. When I recall standing next to my niece in the ICU when she took her last breaths, the blips on her monitor barely move in my mind.
I think painful memories work that way. They travel through us at a rate so as not to shock our hearts into stopping.
But, I want the good memories to slow down. I need pictures of happiness and light to linger in my head. Those images are far too fleeting.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop walking around in a perpetual state of anxiety and make my brain happy. To nurse my soul and to stop letting bad thoughts plod along slowly. I want to make the good feelings last longer than the rotten ones.
All of the negative, slow motion moments in my life are wearing me down and it’s high time I sent them packing.
Then, I’m going to invite bliss and ask it to kick up its heels and stay a while.
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BusyDad
I would gladly drink a Corona in slow motion with you, Momo. Hell, I'm already an expert at blogging in slow motion. I wish you and your family the best this coming year!
Melisa with one S
I find myself wondering if your hitting me with a pound of frozen ground beef in slow motion would give you anxiety or make you laugh. I'm thinking the latter.
sanjeet
I wish you and your family the best this coming year!
Work from home India
the*4*of*us
that sounds like a good plan!
Not long ago my kids and I saw a little girl (about 10) run across the street when she thought nothing was coming…and she was missed by mere inches as well. It was such a lesson for my kids—always look again!!
Piper of Love
You can do it! I know you can, because you've decided to, even though it's not easy.
What's that saying? Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to what happens to you. Attitude really is everything.
Extra credit for tempering it with beer 🙂
(jeebus, I hate when I get all preachy. sorry)
terri
Me too. I think I'll join you on this quest.
Merry Christmas.
Irish Gumbo
Good plan, my dear. I'm in. *clink* Slainte!
Otter Thomas
I wish the the best in carrying out your terrific plan. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Heather
Even though we've since moved the furniture, I can still vividly see the exact spot in our living room when my now 5yo had a seizure at 3. Creeps me out. Laughter is what slows the moments down for me—the good ones. Much joy to you in the year ahead—slow, indulgent moments of pure bliss. Lots of 'em.
Maureen
Here's to many, many good times in 2010 to go in slo mo…
Happy Holidays Momo!
Lisa@verybusymomwith4
Attitude is so important–you are on the right path!
Merry Christmas 🙂
Mad Woman
Good plan! I think I'll join you!
Happy Holidays!
WeaselMomma
Merry Christmas. Force today and tomorrow to go in slow motion. Force the moments to be memories of excited children and full of the joy and happiness that makes up your home.
geeksinrome
You have been through so much. And it's true the good things just rush by never staying long enough to really savor.
I hope you have nothing but wonderful things to look forward to this and next year. Sometimes I like to just let my mind and eyes sink in whatever special moment is happening. Taking pictures is a great way to freeze time, too.
Merry Christmas Momo!!
Heather
I think positivity is good. Merry Christmas, my friend.
john cave osborne
positivity begets positivity. momentum and inertia are real. once things start, they tend to continue, be they bad or good. if good things are at rest, they tend to stay at rest. but if good things are in motion, they tend to stay in motion.
i know it's not as simple as clicking your heels together and thinking happy thoughts, and i don't mean to trivialize what you've been through. from what little i've read, it's quite alot–enough to bring most people to their knees. but not you. you're due for what it is you're asking.
i hope you have an abundance of wonderful moments in the coming year, and i hope you are able to take those good moments and slow them down so you can savor the richness, frame by frame.
I also hope you have a Merry Christmas.
Tara R.
This is perfect. I like the idea of our happy moments turning as slowly as the tragic ones.
A very Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Home survival kits
Great post.,, if your are thinking positive for others then good will do every thing positive for you…
Amy
The slow motion thing is so true. I wonder why it is that way.
This is a great resolution!!!! I've made this one myself before.
(Are you coming to Blissdom, speaking of Bliss? That would be an excellent start!)
UP
Speechless
UP
AlisonH
Hug your dear ones. They're all that matters.
And the "who" on the "dear" becomes everybody, the more we go through.
Sadia
So much crap happens that it's easy to get buried in it. When I feel that way, I try to remember the feeling of a spontaneous hug from my daughters.
I have a feeling I'll need to remember that a lot when the teenage years strike.
Ed
Wow–a resolution already. I'm impressed. My resolutions usually come out sometime around Easter.
meleah rebeccah
Please let me know HOW you STOP walking around in a perpetual state of anxiety! I could use a moment of happiness and PEACE!
Bean
It's high-time, woman! Cheers to this new resolution!! I love it!
Now maybe you'll get some sleep. 🙂
DysFUNctional Mom
I hope it works!
Kim
I hope for the same.
we.can.do.this.
Jaina
I couldn't think of a better resolution.