Last week, our veterinarian told us that our dog may have cancer. At a routine visit, the doctor found a lump on the top of her paw. She seemed concerned and when I asked her what she thought it could be, she looked at my five year old son, then at me, and said, “I’d rather not say.” As in, “I don’t want to be the one to break it to your kid that his dog is going to die”.
The next day, I took our dog back and left her at the vet’s office for x-rays. Back home, without her around, things were so strange. There was no barking when someone walked by, no putting the trash can on top of the refrigerator when I left to run errands, no rolling of my eyes after seeing she had climbed onto my bed for her half-day nap, and I freely left a plate of food on the table when I went to answer the phone. That’s just unheard of in this house.
That night, when we were still waiting to hear the radiologist’s report, my husband and I couldn’t help but look back and talk about the things we’ve been through with her…
Like the time she wrestled a 20 lb., frozen turkey out of the sink and to the floor. I came home, nauseous and pregnant to find bits of that raw bird everywhere.
She once ate a nursing pad, and my husband had to go through her stool for three days to make sure she had passed it. And, another time when she ate a nursing pad I had to induce vomiting with hydrogen peroxide, which resulted in something akin to the canine version of the Exorcist right in the middle of my kitchen.
There was the Thanksgiving shortly after she had surgery on her paws, when in the excitement of a road trip, she jumped up and dead-bolted the door with her lampshade collar, as we were outside packing the car…without our keys.
The many instances when my husband has let her off her leash to run, and she immediately heads for the stagnant pond water, then comes home smelling like a dead fish.
And, there’s the time she jumped the fence, at midnight, when it was 15 degrees, snowing, and there was a howling wind. My husband drove around for hours, while I stood outside our front door hoping for a glimpse of her and wondering if she was all alone, freezing to death somewhere. Ah, good times, good times.
The morning after her x-rays, with her back home, we got back to our routine. She barked at cars and smeared nose juice and slobber all over the windows. I shut the bedroom doors so she wouldn’t get on our beds, only to walk into the living room and find her sprawled across the love seat.
Everyone was back to saying, “Watch my food!” if they had to leave the table for any reason, and the fresh fruit on the kitchen counter was pushed back as far as we could get it.
The trash can was up on it’s perch, and I found a knife, spoon and a plate on the floor which she had dragged out of the kitchen sink and licked clean.
That night, we got a call from the vet letting us know her x-rays didn’t show any sign of cancer. I’m so glad she’s okay, because now that I think about it, I’d like to wring her neck.
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Candace
she’s so cute. glad she’s ok. go kill her.
Stacey @Real World Mom
I’m so glad it isn’t cancer! Just as you said, it was too quiet and boring without her around! 🙂
Shauna Loves Chocolate
Whew!
(and that’s the kind of perspective I like to see!)
A Buns Life
Can’t live with ’em, can’t live with out ’em. That’s just how I feel about both of our dogs. I’m glad it’s not cancer. We have spent so much $$ on each of our dogs medically, (4 knee surgeries and 7 days of ICU stay for a numo thorax) and now we have both agreed that if something major comes up again…..but we say that now. I have also said that when these two kick the bucket, we are taking a doggie break. We will see how long that lasts as well.
transfattyacid
that is good news
Rachel
I am so glad she doesn’t have cancer but dammit woman. When I got to the hydrogen peroxide dog exorcist (dogorcist?) part… I snorted Miller Lite out my nose.
Do you know how painful that is???
amy t sharp
so cute…like another kid for ya!
Mr Lady
Again I say this to you…I shouldn’t be laughing, but I am totally laughing. Stop it, woman.
Ashley
I’m glad everything is okay!
OHmommy
Oh man… I would have like to wring her neck too. Yikes! Glad that the dog is okay.
katy
Great descriptions. I totally identify. Our 13-year-old Rott did have cancer. We put her to sleep…that was several years ago, and I still miss her.
Bee
I have 2 doggies so this post almost made me cry.
Glad she’s okay!
Amber
Thanks for solidifying my resolve to never have a dog…
Glad she’s okay though.
GHD
So, you put me though all that heartache and nostalgia for nothing?
Okay, just kidding. I’m glad you dog is fine after all, but I’m with the previous poster… no dogs for us 🙂
PG
glad all turned out well. Nice bedside manner there doc! Sheesh.
Dette
Oh thank GOD I’m not the only one who feels that way about my dog. My Samson looks exactly like your dog (esp. since he’s lost 30 lbs!)
Glad it wasn’t cancer – I can only imagine what that would’ve done to not just your dog, but you and the family…
Hey – you think she’d want a playmate? Samson would be happy to oblige.
BusyDad
Aw come on! Give her a raw turkey already will ya? You know you want to! My dog would have a grand old time with yours. Come to think of it, our 5 year olds and our dogs would get along great.
Xbox4NappyRash
thats real nice.
Labs are beautiful beasts, and make just wonderful friends.
Stella
I’m so glad she’s ok! That would have been heartbreaking!
I’m not sure which story I find funniest although the deadbolt one DEFINITELY comes close to the top of the list!
Maureen
Oh my… being a dog owner, I know what you mean. Have you ever read Marley and Me?
If not, get it.
You will LOVE it!
MamaMo
So very funny. Glad I’m not the only one who has to elevate their trash can EVERY TIME they leave the house. My dog is part Jack Russell Terrier, part goat.
nola
Love it! The raw turkey part reminded me of the cat I had growing up–he’d drag thawing fish behind the wet bar to eat at his leisure.
So glad she’s okay. 🙂
The MomBabe
That’s how I feel about my kids. sigh.
The Immoral Matriarch
i’m glad she’s okay!
Misty
oh my goodness… I fear this SOOO much…. Thank Goodness your dog is ok!
Lisa
Yeah!!! She’s a cutey–I will admire her from afar (I am very allergic).
babyshrink
i still can’t handle adopting another pet after losing our last one several years ago. it’s so hard when they get sick!
glad she’s ok!
🙂
Laura
I’m so glad to hear that your pooch is okay!
Kim
I am so happy to hear your dog is OK. It would have really been sad for your five year old.
Dan
Blimey, you get a lot of comments.
Glad the dog is ok.
Tara R.
Except for mine being Chocolate and Licorice,and not Vanilla, you described my dog exactly… nice to know someone is sharing the love of a good dog. Glad to hear the good news.
Amy
I have a total love-hate relationship with my dog too. I would be so devastated if anything happened to her, but I’m not above beating her with a frying pan!
Ok, Where Was I?
Glad everything is ok. What a great post. Those stories are hilarious. A turkey out of the sink?! I’d kill her.
Caffeine Court
What a relief! My sister accuses me of loving my dogs too much!
They are a pain but they add so much to our lives. My lab is 10 with grey hairs all over her chin. It makes me sad to see her get old!
soapb mom
Momo, I am so glad she’s okay.
I love that picture of her. Doesn’t look as if she’d get anywhere near poop and then eat it.
😉
Deb
Oh, darlin’, I gasped when I read the first paragraph, because we just put our eldest dog to sleep a few days ago. Then I laughed reading about all the trouble your dog causes (been there, done that to all of them), and I cried when I read the good news.
They’re such a pain in the ass, but they’re worth it. Most of the time.
HRH
Thank God she is in a well enough state of health to strangle. She is kinda cute.
<---That Girl
wow that was super funny (since she’s cancer free & all). Ever thought about getting an under cabinet trash can? She’d probably find a way to open the door. Once we had a Rott that chewed huge gouges in our wooden back door on a nightly basis. I’d wake up to at least 3 piles of snotty, foaming splinters each morning.
May you have many more years of “fun” together!
meleah rebeccah
SO GLAD she does NOT have cancer!
How scary was that.
Whew
xxoo
suchsimplepleasures
i’m so glad to hear that cancer isn’t an issue!! yay!
and…i sooooo know the feeling about wanting to wring a dogs neck! i want to do that to my dog…all.day.long!!
Becky
Yay! I was near tears near the end of this thinking that it was going to be cancer! Then when I read it was not cancer…I cheered and jumped around like cheerleader!
Very cute doggy you have and may she add many more memories to your list!!
Now you can wring her neck…LOL
jennifer
*sniff*
Stupid dogs, can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.
Redneck Mommy
I’m so glad she’s okay.
But I’m also glad she’s yours and that my dog is a midget dog who can’t get into mischief. Except for when he routinely tosses his cookies on my slippers in the middle of the night.
Ew.
Jo Beaufoix
Hee hee, I like it when they’re a little bit sassy. And I’m so glad she’s ok.
Angie
😀 Sounds like a wonderful pooch! We’ll be getting a golden retriever as soon as we can. Looking forward to it, even with all your stories!
crunchycarpets
I was convinced our girl had cancer.but it was a weird skin infection and antibiotics did the trick….man.
MamaMo
Had to read this again – it’s just SOOOO funny.
baseballmom
Aww, so glad she’s okay, and also glad that I’m not the only one who has the garbage put up. I think it’s weird every day that I go to such lengths to protect the house…gate the upstairs off, shut the bedroom door, stuff the kong full of peanut butter and food,put the shoes up, put garbage up–why not just put the damn dogs OUTSIDE? They’re DOGS. But I just can’t, I’m a softie when it comes to them. Our Lab is 9, so I dread anything happening to him, and our mastiff/lab is 2, so she’s a handful, like a huge toddler–gotta love ’em.
Genevieve Hinson
Oh good — so glad. I almost didn’t read this post (still too sensitive for my own dog’s passing) but so glad I did.
Darn, I’ve got wee tears n e ways.
Glad you get to be mad at slobbery-drooly-food-stealing ways for YEARS to come 🙂 :).
~g
newnorth
Glad she’s alright. You have to love dogs…ant love the last line :p
wornoutwoman
Aw, I’m so glad she’s okay so you don’t have to feel guilty about kickin her in the behind! Seriously though…I’m really glad she’s cancer free.