Last night, my husband and I had the good fortune to have dinner with Bill Beausay, author and clinical psychotherapist. Bill is a down-to-earth, easily approachable guy who is passionate about helping all of us help our kids. He has written quite a few books on the subject and had a lot of great advice. Here’s what I learned from Bill…

1. Your kids are not entitled to “things”. If your 15 year old wants a cell phone (iPod, laptop, etc.) because everyone else has one, tell him to go out and earn money to pay for it. Entitlement = Disservice

2. Don’t let your kid boss you around. When your toddler is screaming for a treat at the grocery store, DO NOT give in. This goes back to #1…make them earn it. And, just because a red face, stomping feet, and tears take a lot of effort, that doesn’t count as earning it.

3. Talk to your kids openly and honestly, and don’t wait to do it. I asked Bill about concerns I have for when our daughter starts high school in six years, and he said to start talking to her about those things NOW.

4. Spend time with your children. Watching American Idol together does not fill this requirement.

5. Faith is an important factor in raising a child. I was glad to hear this, as I have open conversations with God every day. Sometimes, that means praying together with the kids, but often, I’m just asking for mental strength to make it until bedtime.

6. Show your children you care. Hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them. They’re never too old to stop either. It makes your kids aware that you’re there for them…always.

No one ever tells you how scary and fragile this parenting thing can be, so it was good to find out we’re doing everything right…so far. And, even if we do everything right, there’s still a chance things can go wrong…

In the end, I think what’s most important is being present for your kids. Physically and mentally present. I think I’ll go hug mine now.

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