The book What to Expect When You’re Expecting
You tend to put a lot of faith in that which prevents something so horrible. The What to Expect books have been my ultimate go-to guides.
For the past four days, my five year old son has had a pretty high fever, so last night I pulled out my handy-dandy What to Expect book. I may have been doing this parenting thing for over nine years, but a refresher course never hurts.
The book says that your child’s behavior, not necessarily their temperature, should be how you judge the severity of the illness. And, speaking of that behavior, apparently it’s not that uncommon for a child to suffer convulsions when they have a fever. I gotta tell you though, the authors seemed just a bit too nonchalant about it.
If convulsing begins, the book says to remain calm and check the clock so you can time the seizure. Maybe grab a cup of tea and give yourself a manicure while you’re waiting.
Don’t put food or drink into your child’s mouth. This is not the time to make him finish his lunch. Also, don’t attempt to bribe him by saying, “If you stop convulsing, I’ll give you a cookie”.
Don’t put your child in the tub. Logically, this SEEMS like a perfectly good time to clean him up. After all, he’ll likely be unconscious, so you wouldn’t get much of an argument about bathtime.
The child’s eyes will roll back, the body will stiffen, arms and legs will twitch and jerk involuntarily. You may want to get out the video camera. Years from now, I’m sure everyone will sit back, have a good laugh, and say, “Remember that time you were having that seizure? Good times, good times.”
If your child isn’t breathing normally, or if the seizure lasts more than five mintues, THEN call 911. Because four minutes and 45 seconds is too soon to freak out. Wait for it…wait for it…when that clock says five minutes, go ahead and call. Although it will feel like five thousand years, you wouldn’t want to sound foolish by saying your kid’s eyes rolled back in his head ONLY four minutes ago.
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Maureen
Hope you son is okay and feeling better… and yes, those books are wonderful. I still have mine that I got in 1990 when pregnant. No, I don’t use them anymore, but they were a big part in preparing to be a Mom.
secret agent mama
God, I hate parenting books.
I hope your guy is feeling better soon, Momo!
Corey~living and loving
Your story of your daughter gave me chills. wow…I always say I find the right informatin just before I need it.
hope none of us need the seizure info.
chefmom
That story about your daughter gave me chills. I was fanatical about kick counting. Being a chef I was on my feet all day and the constant motion was soothing to my daughter. I would freak out and have all these male chefs feeling my belly for kicks, because I thought I was losing it! I loved that book, and still use the toddler version. I LOVED your commentary, on their nonchalance over a seizure!! I hope the little man feels better soon! I don’t know about the Mid West, but we have some nasty bugs making the rounds here on the East Coast.
Bec
I hated WTEWYE. I bought it for my first pregnancy and it’s sat in a draw since that day.
I hope your son’s feeling better soon.
BusyDad
MOMO!! You are SO lucky it is work-at-home wednesday because you are giving me convulsions over here. Somebody film me and get it on YouTube!! I need a buzz-worthy video!
Caffeine Court
Those sound like the same symptoms my daughter displays when I won’t buy her a toy at Target!!!
I think it’s called the “spoiled child grand mal seizure!”
meleah rebeccah
Once again your commentary is HILARIOUS.
parenting books = Not A Fan.
Kimmylyn
I loved this post, but I have to tell you.. the comments rocked equally!! I love Caffeine Courts response.. LOL..
But I loathe.. LOATHE parenting books. I read them all with my first son and became an anal a-hole about everything. No where do those books say you will know your child like nobodys business naturally.
Mr Lady
I am laughing my butt off over here. I feel a little guilty about it; he didn’t actually seizure did he? i hope not. I’m totally not laughing at your kid, I swear!
BuzzeeDad
Hi momo, I’m reading this again as BuzzeeDad because damn you funny!!! I can’t get enough of this. I don’t ever read books twice, hardly ever see movies more than once, ‘cept for a select few, but I got online to do work just now and thought, “I need to read that one just one more time.” Love it.
Immoral Matriarch
*LOL*
I was a by-the-book parent for about a month and then decided to just wing it. I think I’m better off, and your blog confirmed it. *lol*
Sarah is Ok
So funny!
Joeprah
Yeah, I draw the line at 4 minutes and fifty seconds, but just because I like to round up. Scary, scary stuff!
Josi
LOL–that’s hilarious. I personally have real problems with anything that begins with “Now, don’t panic,” that alone will throw me into one. You is such a funny lady.
TZT
I remember reading about febrile seizures in infants and thinking I would lose my mind if one happened to my son. His eyes once rolled toward the back of his head while he gagged on something and I think *my* whole body convulsed in fear.
Funny stuff!
Smartasstic Mom
Of course, just like when you call and tell them that you’re IN LABOR… the doctor will want to talk to your child on the phone to make sure he’s really choking and gasping for air before they actually send an ambulance.
Pomtini
I’m also not a fan of parenting books, although I do own the What to Expect series up to preschooler. I prefer your version, so much more practical.Friends of ours’ boy had a febrile seizure as a toddler and it was pretty scary…he’s just perfectly fine though.
Hope you son is OK now.
Blog hopping a bit tonite, so “Hi”
Alabama Slammer
I HATED those books with a passion. Any fears you didn’t have before, you will after reading them. UGH. Fabulous post btw!!
DrunkenHoney
Blog Hopping from Busy Dad!
I’m a nurse, and I’ve ALWAYS felt like an ass telling parents “Yes, I know your son/daughter just had a seizure, but, um, it’s ok”. Because as a mom, I know it sure as hell isn’t ok! Just one more way those little brains are amazing!
OHmommy
Ahhh… the books. I burned them all with the birth of my third. Hope he is doing better!
Mommin' It Up!
Ohh Momo I know!! Those books freak me out!! I am glad they saved your girl though.
Dan
We used the what to expect books pretty intensively throughout both my wife’s pregnancys and the babyhood of our daughter and son.
They never told us how much damn snot to expect though
cablegirl
Hahaha. Love the video camera.
Hope the boy is feeling better.
Happy Hopping… I’m getting an early start today. 🙂
Darrin
Nice post. We bought the what to expect book (TWICE). They really helped us out on more than one occassion!
C-ya,
“Makeshift Sinatra”
from the weekend bloghoppers
Jennifer
Seriously, I go by my gut after reading those books. I will keep an eye on my kids, but if something seems really out of whack, I call the ped or get them to the ER as fast as I can.
Holly
Okay I have been in the position where I have had to sit back and watch the clock while my son had a seizure. As serious as it is when the doctors are telling you to wait five minutes to call 911 and dont put anything in their mouths, your remarks are exactly what was going through my head!
piper of love
Agreed on all accounts!!
1. Parenting books try to make you feel like a spaz for panicking two minutes into a seizure.
2. You are the funniest blogger I’ve ever known!!